Britney Spears Reveals Her Heartbreak Over Rift Between Her and Her Sons

Britney Spears returned to Instagram Saturday night to discuss her estrangement from her sons, Sean, 16, and Jayden James, 15. She feels as if a part of herself "has died" because of the difficult relationship with her sons, whom she shares with ex-husband Kevin Federline. Spears allegedly has not seen her sons in six months.

Spears, 40, shared a lengthy audio clip broken up into multiple Instagram posts Saturday, with a message about her sons. "Since they've been gone, I've honestly felt like a huge part of me has died," Spears said in one of the clips, notes Billboard. She feels she has "no purpose anymore" without being able to see Preston and Jayden.

"They were my joy, they were my everything," Spears said of her sons. "I looked forward to seeing them, that was what I lived for. And then all of a sudden, they were gone. I was like, 'Did my heart just stop beating?' Honestly, I don't understand how it's so easy for them just to cut me off like that. I don't understand it."

Spears reminded her fans that, "at one point," she saw her sons more often than Federline did. "People don't remember that part because they always focus on the negative," the "Toxic" singer said. "But from when they were 6 to 9 years old, I had them 70% of the time."

She also defended her use of social media against critics who believe she is just trying to get more attention. "With my kids now making the claims that she's not good enough, she wants attention," she says. "Yeah, I do want to be heard and I'm angry. And I kind of want to subconsciously offend people because I've been so f—ing offended."

In the end, Spears had a message for her sons, reminding them that she still loves them. "All I know is that my love for my children is more than anything and... I'm sorry if I ever hurt you guys in any way," she said. "I was told you guys have blocked me. But I will speak here. ... I'm so blessed to even call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologize."

Federline had stayed out of the media spotlight during Spears' fight to end her 13-year conservatorship last year, but he suddenly emerged in August to give an interview with ITV and The Daily Mail. In it, he claimed their sons were avoiding Spears for months and they did not attend her marriage to Sam Asghari. On Sept. 1, The Daily Mail published quotes from an interview with Preston and Jayden, in which they confirmed their relationship with Spears is strained.

"I 100% think this can be fixed. It's just going to take a lot of time and effort. I just want her to get better mentally. When she gets better I really want to see her again," Jayden said. He also spoke directly to his mother, adding, "I love you a lot, I hope for the best for you. Maybe one day we can sit down like this and talk again." Jayden also claimed Spears gave him more attention than Preston.

After the interview was published, Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, told TMZ that the relationship between Spears and her sons was further fractured by Spears' response to their interview. Kaplan said Spears has not seen her sons in six months. "While I will not comment on whether there were or were not regular custodial exchanges, one must consider that the comments about the boys such as those that were recently published hardly create a pro custodial environment," Kaplan said on Sept. 3. "This is something that the parties involved will have to work out over time."