'Married at First Sight' Star Jamie Otis Begs for Help 'in Every Aspect of My Life'

Married at First Sight stars Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner had a frank discussion about the challenges they face in their marriage in this week's episode of their Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. podcast. The couple invited life coach, Dr. Gertrude Lyons, on the show, and they opened up about the struggles they have faced this year. At one point, Otis said she felt like she needed to beg for "help in every aspect of my life."

Otis, 34, told Lyons she had a "really hard time trusting" that Hehner, 37, is always telling her the truth. She is prone to "open up old wounds" while she faces the pressures of motherhood, professional responsibilities, and health concerns during the coronavirus pandemic. "When you're stressed you don't have the ability to stay calm," the mother of two said, reports PEOPLE. "I'm in a rut here and I'm begging for help in every aspect of my life ... I'm angry and sad and hurt and I don't know what to do." Lyons said just the fact that Otis is talking about this is "a victory."

Otis said she also struggled with suicidal ideation recently and is seeing mental health help. "Needless to say, we're obviously working on our marriage," she said at the end of the episode, noting that she is not sure of her family's future. "I'm just at a loss," she added. "I feel completely deflated."

After the podcast episode was published, Otis shared a slideshow of photos taken during her relationship with Hehner. "If the grass looks greener on the other side it may be fake... Our grass is yellow AF but 7 yrs together & we've never wanted to 'fake' anything," she wrote, adding that she never pretended to be "smitten" with Hehner on their wedding day just for the cameras.

"I didn't plan on being so vulnerable on ep 121 of [Hot Marriage. Cool Parents.] but it all just came gushing out," Otis continued. "I cut off the very end of this sentence [because] it's too painful to hear myself talk about my lowest point with [Hehner] & our guest, Dr. Gertrude.⁣" She said she had a mental breakdown "a couple weeks ago" and the two have "really been trying." They have no plans to give up on each other, she wrote. "So yeah, our grass isn't always green. But we both vowed to water the ish outta it til it's vibrant with life again," Otis concluded.

Otis and Hehner were featured in the first season of Married at First Sight and remain one of the few couples still married after their season aired. Otis became pregnant in 2016 but suffered a miscarriage. Their first, daughter Henley Grace, was born the following year. She suffered another miscarriage in 2019, and their second child, son Hendrix Douglas, was born in May 2020.

About a month after Hendrix was born, Otis told PopCulture it was "really scary" to welcome a child during the first months of the coronavirus pandemic. "I feel like I was waiting for him forever, but now he's here and it's going so fast," Otis said last year. "It's a handful, but I can't complain."

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.