Chrissy Teigen Says She’s No Longer Sober Amid Alcohol Journey: ‘I Don’t Know What I’m Doing’

Chrissy Teigen is speaking candidly about the ups and downs of her sobriety journey.

The model, 39, took to Instagram Thursday to admit she had been “dreading” the release of her Self-Conscious podcast’s new episode, in which she talks to guest Holly Whitaker about Whitaker’s book, Quit Like a Woman.

“Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the f—king beast that is alcohol,” Teigen wrote. “But to have to admit to all of you: I let it back into my life. to let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply.”

The Cravings cookbook author said she feels “so proud” every time she hears from someone that she and Whitaker had made them want to “rethink” or “reframe” drinking after she started her sobriety journey in 2021, but that her own journey has been a complex one.

“The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing,” she wrote. “I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I am one hundred percent pissed that I can’t be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into 8 and feeling like s—.”

Teigen similarly wrote she was “tired of throwing up on a Tuesday,” and didn’t want to “feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd.”

“I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days,” she went on, adding, “Your rational mind is probably like ‘OK THEN STOP, B—H!’ and god, do I f–king AGREE!”

The Lip Sync Battle alum noted, “All I know is my relationship with the whole process of sobriety (and messing up) has changed for the better. I am deeply aware of where this can go if I let it.”

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“I guess my plan right now is to continue to be mindful with it. I can go to a concert sober and have the greatest time ever,” said Teigen, who is mom to Luna, 9, and Miles, 6, and Esti, 2, and Wren, 22 months, with husband John Legend. “Photos of my kid’s birthday parties are no longer me with bleary, sleepy drinking eyes. And I am proud of that. But I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn’t normal and never will be.”

Teigen concluded her heartfelt message by thanking her followers for “allowing [her] to figure it out openly in front of you all,” writing, “This is for all the people who are figuring it out. And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you. Until we meet again.”

Legend was quick to support his wife in the comments, writing simply, “Always proud of you.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). SAMHSA’s National Helpline is free, confidential and available 24/7.