Amanda Kloots Makes Heartbreaking Reveal About Son 2 Years Since Husband Nick Cordero’s Death

Amanda Kloots said her son Elvis is asking where his father is more often as he gets older. In a new podcast interview, Kloots explained why this September has been hard for her, more than two years after her husband’s death. Actor Nick Cordero died in July 2020 after a difficult battle with COVID-19. He was 41.

Elvis, now 3, is asking “where his dad is” more often, Kloots, 40, said on iHeartRadio’s The Important Things with Bobbi Brown on Oct. 18, via PEOPLE. “I feel like that part of grief is going to start happening, where I have to now face his grief after dealing with mine for the last two years – helping Elvis understand at this young age where dad is, why dad doesn’t live with us, what happened to dad,” Kloots continued. “And it’s been really, really, really hard.”

The Talk co-host said their son does not want her to leave the house and does not like babysitters. That has made it increasingly difficult for her to balance life as a working mom and trying to date. “You feel guilty every time you leave the house and he’s crying. It’s actually been really hard lately,” Kloots explained. “I’ve had a lot of nights where I’ve cried and [thought] ‘this isn’t fair’ and ‘life isn’t fair’ and ‘I shouldn’t be in this position.’”

Elvis has also told her that he does remember Cordero. Kloots admitted to being a little confused by this. She is not sure if it is because she often shows him videos of his late father or because she talks about him so much. “But he does, he does say that and I love it. But it makes me wonder,” she told Brown.

When Elvis does ask where Cordero is, Kloots said she has an answer. “I have said, ‘Dada lives in heaven with Jesus but he’s all around us all the time. And we can always talk to him, we can listen to him sing and he’s watching over us all the time,’” she said. “That’s what I’ve said so far.”

Elsewhere in her discussion with Brown, Kloots said September was a really difficult month for her. Cordero’s birthday was Sept. 17, and their wedding anniversary was the same month. “September always feels like a new start to me, feels more to me like a new year than January,” Kloots said. “And I think with all those events that are important, and with Elvis going to school, it was a hard month.”

In a May interview on CBS Mornings, Kloots said that grief can come out of nowhere and hit her like “a ton of bricks” in the two years since Cordero’s death. “I miss having somebody to come home to and I miss laughing with somebody. Every time I retell this story, it’s amazing how helpful it is in this grieving journey,” Kloots said at the time. “Grief does not stop. Loss, death – it does not end.”