‘Married at First Sight’: Madison Shares Her Fears About Motherhood With Allen in Exclusive Sneak Peek

Married at First Sight star Madison is opening up to husband Allen about her difficult childhood. In a PopCulture.com exclusive sneak peek of Tuesday’s all-new episode of the Lifetime series, Madison reveals that her absent mother has impacted her thoughts about having kids herself one day.

While Madison doesn’t “remember a lot of [her] younger childhood,” she does remember the fiasco that was her 12th birthday party, when her mom showed up with her boyfriend at the time and made “a fool out of herself.”

“So it’s just things like that that were just really hard to deal with as a kid,” says Madison, who has been honest about how the trauma from her childhood has affected her ability to be vulnerable in relationships. “It’s not something that I try to go back to often, clearly, ’cause I get emotional about it.”

But going on a date to a softball field reminds Madison of “how far [she’s] come” and that she “chose a different direction” than her mother. “I chose to make something beautiful out of a s—ty situation,” she reflects. “It’s kind of crazy actually.”

Allen agrees his wife has a “hell of a story,” telling her, “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.” He continues, “Your mom’s supposed to be your rock, the person that’s always there. And she’s the one that’s downing you?”

Allen assures Madison that there is “always a future to look forward to,” and that when she has children, those childhood experiences will come “flooding back” in a “positive way” due to how she would be as a mother.

Having kids is something that “scares” Madison though. “I don’t think I am my mom, but having children scares me too because I don’t want to disappoint them, I guess,” she shares. “A bond between a mom and a daughter is supposed to be this unbreakable, unconditional love, and I just don’t feel that. And I haven’t ever. And it’s something that I will always long for, but I know I’ll never get it. But it’s something that I also hope that I can have with a future daughter of mine someday.”

While Madison and Allen have struggled with their romantic chemistry throughout their marriage, the couple told PopCulture.com ahead of Season 18 that their “strong suit” was communication. “[We had] great conversations about our personal lives, backgrounds, and it was easy for us to open up to one another very quickly,” Madison gushed at the time.

Married at First Sight (produced by Kinetic Content) airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Lifetime.