Tyler Baltierra has never shied away from discussing his own issues with mental health. The Teen Mom OG star took fans back to his preteen years, when he was dealing with suicidal thoughts, in a poem he posted to Instagram.
The poem he posted details a heartbreaking time at age 11 when he was dealing with his father, Butch Baltierra, going back to jail due to his substance abuse issues.
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“Now imagine a little boy almost 12 years old with an angry core [and] he’s already smoking [and] trying to find a way to not have his mind collapse to the floor,” Baltierra wrote in the poem he posted to social media.
The MTV star said that he had anger issues as a child, adding, “It doesn’t bother him that bad ’cause he knows this week, he’s gonna see his dad.”
It’s at this point in his poem that little Tyler finds out his dad is headed back to prison. “But ya [sic] see, later on that week, he gets a call from his dad that makes his knees become weak. ‘Sorry son, your dad f—ed up again, I have to go back to livin’ in prison, ya see this is hard on me.’ Are you f—ing kidding me, this is hard for me man, don’t you see,” he wrote.
He then details his thoughts of ending his life.
The poem, which is quite graphic and could be triggering for readers, can be read in full here.
Baltierra admitted to his followers that he initially hesitated to post the poem publicly, but decided to share his struggles in the interest of keeping an open communication channel about mental health. His wife, Catelynn Lowell, struggled with suicidal thoughts beginning in November 2017 following a miscarriage, and attended several rehabilitation programs over the past several months to get healthy.
He wrote as a caption on his poem, “I wasn’t going to post this poem…but I know that I’m not the only one who went through mental health struggles & I know that someone can relate to this experience, which is why I decided to vulnerably share this with you guys. This was written about a very dark time in my life & I still don’t like to categorize myself as a survivor but the older I get, the more I realize that we are ALL survivors & we ALL are worthy enough to live! #YouAreNotAlone #PoetryIsMyBrainsFreedom #KeepTalkingMH #SickNotWeak.”
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
