Jana Kramer is detailing one of the darkest chapters of her marriage with Mike Caussin, which came as she was competing on Dancing With the Stars and he was seeking help for sex addiction. During Sunday's episode of the couple's Whine Down podcast, Kramer recalled learning in 2016 that her husband had filed for divorce.
Reading an excerpt of the couple's upcoming book, The Good Fight, Kramer recalled learning through her manager that Caussin had filed for a divorce after the pair had been separated for weeks. "Mike was in rehab and I was in an all-out war with my emotions. Most days, I would push Mike out of my brain and tried to live in the world as if he didn't exist. Other days I was too weak to push and I missed him, and I hoped he would be in the audience watching me perform, rooting for me," she read on the podcast.
At the time, Kramer and Caussin were still new in their marriage and in parenthood, having wed in 2015 and welcoming daughter Jolie in January 2016. (The two are now also parents to son Jace, 21 months.) "Regardless of how I was feeling, whenever he would call me from rehab, I would lash out at him and tell him I didn't want anything to do with him," Kramer continued. "I would hang up and realize that I had no idea what direction my life was headed in or what I should do. They only times that gave me calm was when I looked at our baby girl. I knew that regardless of the outcome, I wanted the best for her."
Learning her husband had filed for divorce, Kramer recalled calling him "screaming," asking him how he could do what she was "supposed to do." He replied that he had been kept from seeing his daughter, which Kramer admitted was true. "He had called asking to see her, as it had already been two months since their last visit, I was so desperate to keep close to me the one thing that brought me calm, that even though I knew it was wrong and could hurt him, I said he couldn't see her until I finished filming, which could take a month," she recalled.
At that point, the singer wrote a "voice in my head finally spoke up in defense of this man and our marriage," and she told Caussin she wanted to try and repair their marriage. The two soon reconciled and began working on their marriage. "There are so many days during the first year of our reconciliation, after the discovery of my affairs, when we thought, 'What the f— is going on?' Honestly, most days were like that," Caussin read from the book. "Needless to say, many of those days were filled with pain and hurt and sadness and despair. But even throughout those days of misery, we were both still there. We both continued to show up despite the fact that all it would take to end the pain was a signature at the bottom of divorce papers."