Meghan Markle is coming forward with a moving account of suffering a miscarriage in July of this year. The royal shared in a New York Times essay Wednesday that she and husband Prince Harry were expecting a sibling for 1-year-old Archie earlier this year before the pregnancy loss, and are now openly mourning their second child.
“Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few,” Meghan wrote, recounting how she and her husband have comforted each other not only when she was in the hospital, but in the days since. The former Suits actress revealed she was at the couple’s home in Montecito, Santa Barbara when she felt something wrong.
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“After changing [Archie’s] diaper, I felt a sharp cramp,” she wrote. “I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
Hours later, Meghan was holding Harry’s hand in her hospital bed, feeling “the clamminess of his palm” and knuckles, wet from their tears. “Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal,” Meghan continued. “In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.”
Applauding those who have “bravely shared their stories” and “opened the door” for a more honest public conversation about pregnancy loss, Meghan shared, “We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
As Thanksgiving approaches, Meghan explained she and Harry wanted to reflect on the last few months and invite others to reach out to friends and family during what can be a difficult time. “As we plan for a holiday unlike any before — many of us separated from our loved ones, alone, sick, scared, divided and perhaps struggling to find something, anything, to be grateful for — let us commit to asking others, ‘Are you OK?’ As much as we may disagree, as physically distanced as we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of all we have individually and collectively endured this year,” she wrote.
“We are adjusting to a new normal where faces are concealed by masks, but it’s forcing us to look into one another’s eyes — sometimes filled with warmth, other times with tears,” she continued. “For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another. Are we OK? We will be.”
