Machine Gun Kelly is opening up about his mental health struggles and how fiancée Megan Fox and his 12-year-old daughter Casie influenced him to seek help. In his new Hulu documentary Life in Pink, which premiered Monday, the "Emo Girl" artist, born Colson Baker, shared a dark moment in his life following the death of his father in 2020.
"I flew to my dad's apartment to clear all this stuff out. I had this really weird interaction with this neighbor who told me all these things I didn't want to hear," he said in the documentary. "That f—ed me up even more because I couldn't get closure on it. I wouldn't leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark."
When Fox went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie, Kelly said he began "getting this really wild paranoia" that someone was going to kill him. "I would always sleep with a shotgun next to my bed, and like, one of the days, I just f—ing snapped." He continued, "I called Megan, I was like, 'You aren't here for me.' I'm in my room and I'm like freaking out on her and dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth and I'm yelling on the phone and like the barrel's in my mouth. I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan's like dead silent."
The terrifying experience marked rock bottom for the musician, who had Fox and his daughter Casie advocating for him to get help. "They simultaneously came at me with this like, 'I want to like, be able to see in your eyes. I don't want to like be talking to you through a veil anymore. I want to see you as my father and I want to see you as my husband-to-be,'" he said. "I was like, 'I need to kick the drugs, for real this time.'"
Kelly has since spoken openly about going to therapy, and in the Hulu documentary, the "Papercuts" artist said Fox has been a positive force in his life. "Megan became like the sun to me – like the one that I revolve around and gives me life and like helps me grow," he said. "It's just like every fairytale that they never told you in school, that they never taught you. Like the passion between us is otherworldly. I know I've known her in so many other lifetimes."
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.