Billie Lourd Pays Emotional Tribute to Mom Carrie Fisher on 7th Anniversary of Her Death

Billie Lourd is paying tribute to her late mother Carrie Fisher on the seventh anniversary of the Star Wars actress’ death. Wednesday, seven years after Fisher passed away on Dec. 27, 2016, at the age of 60, the 31-year-old Scream Queens alum took to social media with a throwback photo and a message about her grief for her mother and how it’s changed over the years. 

“It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?) Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief,” Lourd began. “Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once.”

“This year when I woke up I felt grateful – or griefull if you will,” she continued. “Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last.” Lourd, who shares son Kingston, 3, and daughter Jackson, 1, with husband Austen Rydell, added, “Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy. I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing.”

The American Horror Story actress continued, “I felt my momby’s presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin.” She shared that while she certainly misses her mother, she makes sure her children carry on her legacy. 

“I miss her every day but the cliche is also true – she is with me every day – she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy,” Lourd concluded. “As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings.”

Lourd accepted her mother’s posthumous Hollywood Walk of Fame star on May 4, saying at the time, “I have now passed the torch, or in this case lightsaber, onto my two children, Kingston and Jackson. I feel so lucky that even though they won’t get to meet my mom, they will get to know a piece of her through Leia. And I will get to tell them that the little lady in the TV is my Momby, their grand-Momby.”