Amber Portwood is seeking help after going through a rough patch with her mental health following the birth of son James, she revealed in a clip of Monday's all-new Teen Mom OG.
"I've been struggling a lot with my depression lately, and I'm starting to think I need to check in with my psychiatrist to help me get through these hard times," she admits in a voiceover.
She tells a producer named David, "I just need to get myself centered again," and telling him that for the first time in more than a year, "I had the worst anxiety attack."
While @AmberLPortwood opens up about her mental health, @ItsGaryTime’s search for his biological father is really looking up 🙌 It’s all happening on a new #TeenMomOG at 9/8c on @MTV. pic.twitter.com/YJ6uQDKUMb— #TeenMomOG (@TeenMom) December 10, 2018
"That was pretty scary honestly, because you're trying to take care of your baby and it feels like someone is grabbing you and squeezing your insides and not letting go," she explained.
When David asks how boyfriend Andrew Glennon, with whom she shares James, is supporting her during this time, she explains that he goes out of his way to do little things to make her smile during her dark times, but that she fears his inability to shift her mental health in a more positive direction permanently could be weighing on him.
"I don't know how he feels about that," she says of his gestures' inability to completely change her state of mind. "You know, afterwards like, 'Oh, I guess that wasn't good enough,' and I never want him to feel that way."
She adds, "With Andrew or people who don't have [borderline personality disorder] or [bipolar disorder], it's hard for them to quite understand. But it's not for them to understand, it's for them to be there for you, and that's what he does."
The two hadn't been dating very long when they discovered they were expecting, and Portwood announced she was weaning herself off her medications treating her BPD and bipolar as part of her desire to have a healthy pregnancy.
"I wanted to see if I was just unhappy because of the things that were going on in my life," she told Us Weekly in November. "I needed to see where I was in my head and it's a beautiful thing because I just feel better. I feel happier and not so depressed."
Teen Mom OG airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET on MTV.
Photo credit: Instagram/Amber Portwood