Catelynn Lowell Baltierra is having a hard time dealing with her daughter's adoption.
The 25-year-old broke down while discussing visiting her and husband Tyler Baltierra's biological daughter, Carly, on Monday's Teen Mom OG episode.
When chatting with their adoption counselor, Dawn, the couple revealed they had been given a chance to visit Carly for the first time in two years after they put her up for adoption on 16 and Pregnant.
But the date they were given by Carly's parents Brandon and Theresa would conflict with a long-planned family vacation, they said.
"We would just have to cancel," said Catelynn, who suggested that Carly's parents weren't looking to reschedule the suggested dates. "I told you, if it comes down to it, we'll just have to cancel our vacation. But …"
"But, why does it have to be so complicated?" Tyler asked.
Dawn suggested that as Carly gets older, things get more complicated with an open adoption.
"I think it's more than just your schedule and their schedule," she said. "Now we've got the kids' schedules and now you're into school and into extracurricular activities."
Breaking down, Catelynn says she feels frustrated and ignored when she tries to make plans with Theresa.
"I try not to make it difficult. Things always seem like they're difficult and I'm not trying to make it difficult. I'm willing and trying and offering. And then I get ignored for months and I try. And then she finally answers me," she said.
"The older Carly gets, the more it impacts them," Dawn said. "It's not just, 'We'll meet for one day and go to a park.' For them, it's the residual effects afterward, the questions that come. What is that impact on Carly?"
"The same thing that's going to impact Nova when she's older," Catelynn said. "The same thing we have to do that they're going to have to do. It's just part of it. You're gonna have to do it. So pull up your bootstraps and do it."
She added, crying, "I feel like we get the brunt of it, either because they're scared or [Carly's] asking questions. They knew that was going to happen. She's going to get older and ask questions. What did you think was going to happen? Don't punish us for it."
Later, Catelynn explained to Tyler why she's so frustrated with Carly's parents.
"I feel like I get punished because my kid asks questions about me, or she wants to know where she comes from," Catelynn said. "What [did they] think adoption is? She's going to do that."
Tyler has his own problems with the couple.
"I really think the question should be like: Do you think having this one-year visit is good for her? And as a parent, which I gave you the right to be, you have to decide if that is right for her or not. And let me tell you right now, if you don't think it's right for her, then I will stand aside and support your decision … because I don't have a choice," he said.
The next day, the two worked things out with Theresa and scheduled a meeting for August, flying with daughter Novalee to Raleigh, North Carolina to a rental home to wait until the meeting.
Tyler and Catelynn agreed that they wouldn't have been able to have their second daughter, Novalee, if they hadn't given Carly up for adoption when they were teens.
"There's no way I could have done this at 16," Catelynn said.
"This may sound mean, but I don't really care about [them]," he said. "It's just not on my priority list. I think it was because I thought I have to have a relationship with them to have a relationship with Carly. But that's not the case. They have obviously allowed me to have one with her, but at the same time, they're not the goal."0comments
Teen Mom OG airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET on MTV.
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