The loss of Beth Chapman has left Duane "Dog" Chapman reeling both mentally and physically according to a new chat with Entertainment Tonight. While he had noted that he's working on "trying to man up" after his loss, he also revealed that he lost 17 pounds in two weeks.
One of the big reasons for the weight loss is the inability to get back in his routine. The reality star revealed that he is having trouble registering that his wife is truly gone, trouble resting at night and trouble eating.
"I haven't gotten past the place where I'm [not] putting a pillow where she was and covering it up," Chapman told ET. "And then I wake up in the middle of the night and I see her and it doesn't register that [it] ain't her. I'm still there."
Things haven’t been the same for Duane “Dog” Chapman since the death of his beloved wife, Beth.https://t.co/xYHwybYbaI— Entertainment Tonight (@etnow) July 11, 2019
Chapman also gave a peek inside the final days with his wife Beth and how he would do his best to calm her.
"I wake up to always touch her, especially when she was sick I'd have to wake up a few times when she stopped breathing. I couldn't hear it no more," Chapman told the outlet. "And she's laying and I'm like, 'You are not dying like that. I will not let you die.' So I'm so used to that that I don't sleep solid anymore."
The toll on Chapman's physical health might be the most shocking revelation he's made in the interview. As he tells ET, he lost 17 points in two weeks.
"I can't eat. Two bites, I'm full. I got to force feed myself like I force fed her," the reality star admits. He also opens up about another change he's going to be forced to make post- life with Beth.
The reality star points out that she used to be the one to read menus in restaurants — blaming the lighting for being so dim and adding that he'll need to get glasses.
"I would go, 'What do I want today, honey?' and she would name two things," Duane explained. "I never ordered...I'm having a hard time ordering food. I've lost 17 pounds. Chewing ice helps, and I've lost 17 pounds in about two weeks."
The brighter side is also becoming clearer for Chapman following the loss of his wife. His final days with her gave him a "whole new look on life" and how he's going to live it.
"People would say I lived a long and great life, sometimes a hard life," Duane revealed before adding that he's ready to join Beth, just not in any self-inflicted way. He also wants to connect with others.0comments
"I went through experiences to help others -- I really mean this. The other day I met [a guy]. He goes, 'Dog, you know I love you. I'm sorry, I lost my wife six months ago,' and I hugged him and I felt a connection like, boom, instantly brotherhood, right," The reality star tells ET. "So when you go through something and somebody else [goes through the same thing], there's something there. That's why I'm going through it, but I use that thing that's bad to help me help others."
Beth Chapman's celebration of life in Colorado will be held at the Heritage Christian Center in Aurora on July 13. The event will begin at 2 p.m. with doors opening at 1 p.m. local time.