Amazon Reviews That Were So Funny We (Almost) Clicked the Buy Button
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Amazon reviews can be helpful when you're sifting through some of the millions of products sold on the popular online marketplace. And while many of the reviews can be an honest and totally candid analysis of the product at hand, some of them, written by customers who clearly have a sense of humor, serve as total satire.
From Old School humor surrounding a super-sized barrel of lube to an opinion on a book that teaches you how to craft with cat hair, we have rounded up some of the most hilarious Amazon reviews ever written.
55 Gallons of Warming Water-Based Body Glide
Clearly reviewer Spencer was inspired by the movie Old School when he wrote this tongue-in-cheek blurb about a nearly $2,000 tub of lube: "Bought this for a wrestling tournament for my boy Blues birthday and it worked great, unfortunately he passed away later that night so I gave it a 4 star review because we haven't gotten the autopsy back yet..."
You can read the full body glide review here.
Writes Michael J. Corkren about this fruit slicing tool: "This slicer is the best! For years my household would draw lots as to who would have to slice the banana. More than once this lead [sic] to lots of blood and a trip to the emergency room. Now we don't have to worry about loosing [sic] a finger or an occasional body part. Slicing bananas no longer resembles a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
You can read the full banana slicer review here.
Bic for Her Fashion Retractable Ballpoint Pen
Just in case you want your writing instruments to be gender-specific, Bic has come to the rescue. "I gave these to all of the men in my office and they all received pay cuts a few weeks later! Thanks Bic for helping me to bridge the pay gap - at least, in my office," Jessica Wilde snarkily wrote in her review of the feminine writing tools.
You can read the full 'Bic for Her' pen review here.
Wallmonkeys Senior Woman with Asthma Inhaler Wall Decal
"At first I wasn't sure if spending money on a sticker of an old lady with an inhaler was a good idea but once I got it I knew I had made the right choice. She keeps me company in my apartment since I don't have any actual friends, we eat, play board games, and watch tv together…" wrote user Wes about this completely random wall sticker.
You can read the full wall decal review here.
"A Million Random Digits"? HA! They only used 10, and just kept repeating them in different combinations! Don't be fooled!" D. Ringer advises about this mathematical book.
You can read the full review of A Million Random Digits here.
"With the help of tis [sic] book, my wife has made all of the Christmas gifts for our friends and family. She has made 4 pairs of socks, 2 scarves, 3 hats, a toaster cozy, slippers, a winter jacket and carpeted the family room. I highly recommend this book to anyone who, like my wife, has 14 shedding cats in their house," Dennis Regling wrote in his praising review about this clever feline crafting book.
You can read the full review of Crafting with Cat Hair here.
How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Midwest CraftyLass basically wrote a novel praising this book, which helped rehabilitate his feline after eight lives were lost. "By chance, I stumbled upon this glorious and assistive owner's guide. It has more than just your average, run of the mill tips and tricks. It provided my wounded heart and weary spirit with a roadmap to facilitating positive change. In it I found a fresh perspective and countless renewed approaches for talking openly with my cat, sans hesitation."
You can read the full review of How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety here.
Yes, sugar-free candy is too good to be true. "Delicious, almost too sweet, and prepare to murder your office with your farts. Your spouse will be so mad if you eat these," wrote Kaylee Smith.
You can read the full review for the sugar-free candy here.
Seth G. Macy attests that three wolves are better than two in their review for this iconic Amazon meme product. "I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie."
You can read the full review for the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt here.
AutoExec AUE13000 Wheelmate Car Desk
In case you didn't know, George Takei is an avid Amazon reviewer—and each of his takes is more hilarious than the last. "...I can now happily fly at warp speed down the streets of Los Angeles, laptop or mobile device perched right in front of me, so I can keep both eyes right on it AND on the road. It's so much easier to ignore all the frightened screams and annoying honking when you've got Facebook to look at while driving," he wrote about this desk—for your car!
You can read Takei's full review of the car desk here.
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