Ah, that so in love, cannot keep your hands off of each other feeling that you used to have for one another. Does it seem like yesterday or forever ago that you felt that for your partner?
The elusive "honeymoon phase" that couples tend to shift out of during the course of their relationship. Sometimes occurring as they are dating or soon after they are married. The passion, excitement and lust turns into nit-picking, forgotten date nights and excuses for not having sex. Binge-watching Real Housewives is a valid excuse, however.
According to author and relationship counselor, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., "Most couples make a shift from romance to routine by their second anniversary." Then what? How do you get your groove back?
Don't scroll over this section, while it may seem obvious, spending time together is a must. Even if you have to schedule it. This does not mean when you both happen to be in the same house, but doing other things or having dinner with another couple. This time together needs to be dedicated to each other and one-on-one. "The infatuation phase of relationships involves the spiking of a potent neurochemical cocktail, so it's really as though couples are under the influence," explains Kerner. Plan a date night -- it does not need to be elaborate or even occur out of the house. Recreate one of the first meals you made together, rent a movie and agree to no cell phones.
As important as time together is time apart. How could you possibly yearn or lust for someone when you see them all the time? Part of the excitement you felt in the beginning of your relationship included the anticipation of seeing your partner. It has been a day or a week until your last date and you could not stop thinking about that kiss. When you're in a long-term relationship it can be easy to take that for granted. You also may have fallen into the "couple" routine. You are no longer the single, independent you, you are the "couple" version of you. So remind yourself and him just who that girl is. "The strongest individuals build the strongest bonds," Kerner says. Engage in your favorite hobby or plan nights out with friends outside of your coupledom.
Netflix and Chill...or Don't0comments
During the honeymoon phase, Netflix and chill meant, well, Netflix and chill. Now, it means your favorite sweats and actually watching Netflix. Return to the throws of passion on the sofa by not turning the tv on. Crazy and slightly frightening? Turn on some music, make dinner together and reconnect sans media distractions. We're pretty sure you can find something else to do without the tv on in the bedroom!
Keep the Mystery Alive
Being too open with each other is not always a good thing. Your partner doesn't need to know what you ate at lunch, what time you got that second cup of coffee or why you love Gigi Hadid's latest crop top so much. Real-time updates on every aspect of your life are unnecessary. Part of the intrigue during your honeymoon phase was all the things you had to talk about and what ou wanted to share with your partner. Odds are, it was not about coffee or Gigi.