Why Goldie Hawn Doesn’t Care When Kurt Russell Checks out Other Women

You probably know that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who fell in love on set 34 years ago, are famously (and happily!) unmarried. But amid their happy Hollywood lifestyle, it might be harder to tell that it’s not all sunshine and daisies.

In fact, Hawn, 71, told PEOPLE that over the course of the years with Russell, she’s learned the key to a happy relationship.

“Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy. Family. Fun. Laughs. Sex,” Hawn says. “If you don’t nurture that, and remember, you’re done.”

The Snatched star even says that monogamy is hard.

“Monogamy is a very tough order,” she says. “You’re in the prime of your life, you are attracted to other people, potentially, you have fantasies about that. It really runs the risk, if you will, if you’re not aware that you could maybe screw up a really good thing by doing that.”

The key to enduring that, Hawn says, is how couples react to those feelings.

“I’m sure I’ve been party to it, and Kurt’s been — we’re all normal this way. It’s like, ‘You really liked that guy, didn’t you?’ Or the woman says, ‘You were looking at her.’ My answer would be, ‘Of course. Why not? She’s beautiful.’ Would you want a man who doesn’t look? Who doesn’t feel inspired by the beauty or the curves of a woman’s body? Or the way she is? I mean, come on. We’re human beings. There is, I guess, an elasticity to the relationship. Otherwise it’s going to break, just like a rubber band.”

Do you agree with Hawn’s thoughts about love and monogamy?