Anderson Cooper was one of the many CNN staff members who sat down to discuss the life of co-worker Anthony Bourdain during the Remembering Anthony Bourdain special on Friday night.
Cooper was asked his initial thoughts on Bourdain's passing early in the show, and the veteran reporter was visibly holding back tears.
"Honestly it's hard to even talk about him in the past tense at this point," Cooper said. "It's really... yeah, it's really hard to imagine. I mean, you never really know what goes on in anybody's head, and you never know what goes on in anybody's heart. But certainly, the pain the he must have been feeling, at least in that moment, or in those moments, and the loneliness he must have been feeling, it's just terribly sad to think about. And it makes me very sad for him to have succumb to that."
The subject of suicide is a very personal for Cooper, whose older brother Carter died by suicide at age 23 in 1988.
"I lost a brother to suicide, so I know the shock that people feel. I know the shock that loved ones feel, and it's something that I've thought about for 30 years. And I don't have any answers about why somebody does it."
Cooper also discussed Bourdain's passing on Friday's edition of Anderson Cooper 360.
.@andersoncooper: We have lost a friend, a travel companion who was always up for an adventure and one of this country’s greatest storytellers.
He loved and was loved in return. We remember our friend and our colleague Anthony Bourdain. https://t.co/1psFSjzFLw— Anderson Cooper 360° (@AC360) June 9, 2018
"I know many of you who watched him feel as though you too have lost a friend, a travel companion who was always up for an adventure," Cooper said.
"Many of you, like many of us, are feeling a whole range of emotions — shock, sadness, confusion, that a man who was seemingly having the ride of his life, in the middle of his life, has now suddenly reached the end of his life," Cooper continued. He went on to present a 12-minute long tribute to Bourdain.
Numerous friends and loved ones have since spoken out about Bourdain since his passing.
"Anthony gave all of himself in everything that he did," Bourdain's girlfriend of two years Asia Argento wrote in a statement on Instagram. "His brilliant, fearless spirit touched and inspired so many and his generosity knew no bounds. He was my love, my rock, my protector. I am beyond devastated. My thoughts are with his family. I would ask that you respect their privacy and mine."0comments
The Parts Unknown host was 61 years old at the time of his death.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).