The episode sees the WWE star return to Napa Valley for the first time since she visited the area to plan her wedding to Cena before ultimately breaking off their relationship. Speaking to her sister, Brie Bella, Nikki reflected on her relationship and admitted that seeing him with someone else won't be easy for her.
"No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it's gonna kill me," she said before reflecting on her healing journey since the split.
"I still have a long way to go, but honestly, I'm ready for a new me," Nikki told her sister. "I need it. I need to start living as if I don't care who's watching me and afraid to hurt their feelings. I just want to move forward."
"This is the first time I've been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all the memories," she added in a confessional interview. "But a part of me is like, 'OK, Nicole. Now you have to make new memories.'"
She echoed that sentiment while speaking to Brie, telling her that she's still recovering from the split after being with Cena for six years.
"I think that's why I was crying so much yesterday," she said. "I feel like it was the first time I'm just fully, like, starting my true grieving and healing process."
Nikki has jumped back into the dating pool herself in the past few months, recently telling Access Live, that she's not in the market for a full-fledged relationship.
“I’m not looking to be serious with anyone right now,” she said. “I’m just looking to have fun. I’m just in a fortunate position that I get to go on these dates with a lot of amazing guys. I mean, not a lot, it’s only been a few.”
“I’m dating, having fun,” she told Us Weekly in February. “[Artem] is one of the people that I like to have fun with. He’s a good friend.”0comments
Total Bellas airs Sundays on E! at 9 p.m. ET.
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