Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are never afraid to be transparent about their relationship, and Bell recently shared some details about their respective trips to therapy during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. During Tuesday’s episode, Bell spoke with guest host Chelsea Handler, who noted that the actress has been open about going to therapy with Shepard and asked her how they make their relationship work.
“It’s a different recipe every time,” Bell responded. “At the beginning of the pandemic, we were at each other’s throats, and then all the doors locked in our house, like we had to stay inside, and we were like, ‘Woof, we need to get a handle on the annoyances.’” She explained that their therapist, Harry, suggested that since the two were “so annoyed with each other,” they “brush up” on their “toolbox.” “Relationships take work,” she said. “He suggested we go to therapy separately, kinda so that we could talk s— about each other.”
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After the audience laughed, Bell continued, “And we did, and it’s been great. What we’ve been doing the last couple months is, every two weeks or so, I’ll see Harry via Zoom and complain about Dax, and then he’ll give me all the reasons why I’m wrong, and then Dax will do the same. And then by the time we meet up in the evening, we love each other again because our toolboxes are bigger.”
“When you have a third party moderating any disagreement, it’s always a safer place,” she explained. “When two people are talking, defense mechanisms and cortisol and all that stuff, it just messes up the solution.” Handler agreed, “You always need a third party” and joked, “Even if you’re single, you need a third party to mediate between all your personalities.” Bell also shared that her favorite quote from Harry is, “Do something nice today and don’t get caught.”
In January, the actress told PEOPLE that she and Shepard, who share daughters Lincoln, 8, and Delta, 6, needed “a little therapy brush-up” at the beginning of quarantine in 2020. “Every couple of years, we’re like, ‘We’re being very antagonistic towards each other,’ and we don’t want that,” she said. “We go back to therapy and figure out what I’m not doing that’s best for you and what you’re not doing that’s best for me, and how we can serve this team goal better,” she continued. “It’s been incredibly helpful.”