Celebrity PokePals: Picking John Cena’s Pokemon Partners

With Pokemon in the news so often thanks to Pokemon Go and the upcoming Pokemon games, we here at ComicBook.com sometimes spend our time debating what sort of Pokemon celebrities would have if they were trainers. Would Robert Downey Jr. prefer Steel type Pokemon? What Eeveelution would Rhianna choose? Is there any Pokemon tough enough to hang with Brock Lesnar?

Well, our newest feature Celebrity PokePals will try to answer all those questions and more. We’ll pick out a celebrity each week and pick out which Pokemon would have on his or her battling team.

This week’s celebrity is WWE Superstar John Cena. When he’s not accumulating world championships, Cena is building an impressive Hollywood resume, producing television shows like American Grit and appearing in comedies like Sisters and Trainwreck.

Here’s the Pokemon team we feel would be the best fit for John Cena. Agree? Disagree? Be sure to let us know in the comments.

Machamp

John Cena’s first Pokemon is a pretty obvious choice: the burly, four-armed “Superpower” Pokemon Machamp. Not only does Machamp sport a championship belt much like the ones John Cena often wears, it also has the same general physique that the superstar wrestler has. Plus, Cena loves “champs”, having won countless championships over his long career.

Machamp’s signature ability is No Guard, which guarantees that Machamp’s moves will always hit, but at the cost that it can never dodge an opponent’s attacks. Since Machamp can’t dodge attacks, it should use an Assault Vest, an item that boosts its Special Defense stat, to keep it from getting knocked out from a powerful Psychic attack. 

We’d load Machamp up with a variety of physical moves to take advantage of No Guard and Machamp’s super high Attack stats. Dynamic Punch is a must-have, a powerful Fighting attack that leaves an opponent confused but usually has a 50% accuracy rate. With No Guard, Dynamic Punch will always hit, leaving enemy Pokemon down and vulnerable to a knock out blow. Machamp should also learn Heavy Slam, a Steel move that would take out potential Fairy Pokemon (a common weakness for the rest of Cena’s team) as well as Knock Off, a Dark move that can hit both Psychic and Ghost attacks.

Rounding out Machamp’s attack is Smack Down, an attack with obvious meaning for WWE fans. Smack Down will protect Machamp from Flying Pokemon, and keep Pokemon on the ground and ready for Machamp to bring the hurt.

Hawlucha

Hawlucha’s design was based off the luchador, a Mexican style of wrestler that wears masks. Hawlucha is one of the quicker Pokemon in the games, especially when using its Unburden ability (which doubles its speed after its consumes a held item). Because of its speed, Hawlucha is the perfect Pokemon to represent Cena’s “You Can’t See Me” motto. 

Hawlucha’s main attack is Flying Press, a wrestling style moonsault that does a combination of Flying and Fighting damage. We’d also teach Hawlucha Acrobactics, a move that doubles its attack strength when Hawlucha isn’t holding an item. An Unburdened Hawlucha with Acrobactics is basically a Pokemon version of Cena suddenly spamming AAs 25 minutes into an match.

Hawlucha doesn’t really need any other attacks, so the rest of its moves should help give it an extra edge in battle. Bulk Up will raise Hawlucha’s Attack and Defense stats, while Feather Dance significantly lowers an opponent’s attack.

Incineroar

One of the new Pokemon set to appear in Pokemon Sun and Moon, Incineroar is the other Pokemon clearly based off a wrestler. Incineroar seems to be inspired off of Tiger Mask, a popular wrestler from Japan. A Fire/Dark Pokemon, Incineroar helps protect Cena’s team from Psychic Pokemon and adds a little *ahem* fire to his team.

Since Incineroar hasn’t officially debuted in a Pokemon game, we can’t really pick out its moveset. However, it’s a given that Incineroar will know its signature move Darkest Lariat, which is based off a wrestling move that Cena often uses. 

We should note that as a “Heel” Pokemon, Incineroar might feel out of place since Cena is such a goody two-shoes. But people often forget that Cena started his WWE career as a heel. And if Incineroar ever turns on Cena, it’ll lead to one heck of a feud.

Braviary

John Cena is a super-patriot, to the point that he’ll fight just about anyone who insults the United States. This means he needs the one truly “American” Pokemon on his team. Braviary is a bald eagle-like Flying Pokemon with a red, white, and blue color scheme who’s clearly meant to evoke patriotic feelings in every American Pokemon trainer. 

In addition to its patriotic color scheme, Braivary has the high Attack stat that seems to be a common theme on Cena’s team. We’d teach Braviary the high risk/high reward move Brave Bird, which does massive damage but also hurts the attacking Pokemon. We’d also give Braviary Superpower, a powerful Fighting attack that lowers its users Attack and Defense. To help counteract Brave Bird and Superpower’s effects, we’d also teach Braviary Bulk Up and Roost, which respectively provide boosted attack/defense stats and restores health.

Tyranitar

You could easily build a Pokemon team around Tyranitar, a monstrous Pokemon with a versatile moveset, but it has more of a support role on John Cena’s team. Tyranitar helps cover three of the team’s biggest weaknesses: Electric, Psychic, and Flying Pokemon. Tyranitar is a Rock Type (meaning it can easily take out Flying Pokemon) and can learn Earthquake, a Ground attack that can wipe out most Electric Pokemon. Tyranitar is also a Dark Type, which gives it an advantage over Psychic Types. 

In addition to countering several of Cena’s weaknesses, Tyranitar can become the team’s secondary tank by Mega Evolving, giving its Attack and Defense major boosts. It also has the ability Sand Stream, which creates a sandstorm that automatically damages opposing Pokemon each turn. 

Overall, Tyranitar is like the perfect tag team partner, it has plenty of strengths and covers its teammates weaknesses. Cena should use Tyranitar as the perfect late match “hot tag”, bringing it in to wreck opponents late in the game. 

Metagross

Cena’s final Pokemon is Metagross, a powerful Psychic/Steel type Pokemon. Like Tyranitar, Metagross is on Cena’s team mainly because it helps cover the team’s major weakness to Fairy Pokemon. Metagross can also Mega Evolve, providing Cena with another option to surprise opponents.

Metagross’s Meteor Mash should take care of any Fairy Pokemon, while Zen Headbutt gives Metagross a strong Psychic attack to take advantage of its Strong Claw ability, which boosts any physical attack Metagross uses. We’d also teach Metagross Ice Punch and Thunder Punch to give it some extra versatility and counters to other types of Pokemon.