'Roseanne': Every Pop Culture Reference in Premiere Episodes
Roseanne is finally back in our TV screens and we can't stop laughing.The ABC sitcom returned with [...]
P— Hat
Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) walks into the Conner house early in the first episode wearing a p— hat and a Nasty Woman T-shirt. She wears it most of the episode to piss of Roseanne (Barr).
prevnextHealthcare
The series wasted no time commenting on the state of healthcare in the U.S.
"Our insurance doesn't cover what it used to so I got half the drugs for twice the price," Dan (John Goodman) says, calling himself the "candy man" as he distributes pills between himself and his wife.
And perhaps one of the funniest moments from the episode comes as Roseanne and Jackie are making amends about their political differences.
"I should've understood that you want the government to give everybody free healthcare because you're a good hearted person, who can't do simple math," Roseanne says.
prevnextWalmart
Darlene (Sara Gilbert) calls Roseanne out for passing out at Walmart because of her low blood sugar.
"That was because their prizes are so low!" she says.
prevnext2016 presidential election
Throughout the first episode, Aunt Jackie and Roseanne fight the presidential election before resolving their differences.
"Aunt Jackie thinks every girl should grow up and be president, even if they are a liar, liar, pantsuit on fire," Roseanne says before the family sits down for dinner.
"Oh, I think we know who is a liar and who is on fire, Roseanne," Jackie says.
prevnextUber
Roseanne offers to give Darlene a ride to her job interview through her new job.
"All you gotta do is open up your Uber app and request me ... and it's urgent cause I know you really need a ride," she says.
prevnextGuns
As they discuss politics, Jackie makes fun of Roseanne, Republicans and guns, and Dan looks visibly worried.
"I just realized we have kids in the house and I can't remember where we hid our gun," he says.
The couple finds the gun in the garage later in the episode.
prevnextFifty Shades of Grey and Harry Potter
Dan finds a copy of Roseanne's old manuscript and he suggests the book would've been a hit had she not killed him in the novel.
"You know what really would've helped though? More bondage and a wizard school," Roseanne says.
prevnextTake a Knee
Roseanne is about to say grace before the family sits down for dinner and pokes fun at football players kneeling down for the National Anthem to her liberal sister.
"First let's say grace ... Jackie, would you like to take a knee?" she says.
prevnextMake America Great Again
Roseanne gives gave asking God to protect DJ's wife Gina, who is deployed in Syria, and her son Jerry on the fishing boat.
"... but most of all Lord, thank you for Making America Great Again," she says.
prevnextMarky Mark and The Funky Bunch
Remember Mark Wahlberg's hip-hop group from the 1990s? Well, Roseanne reveals Becky got a tattoo honoring the music group despite her parents' disapproval.
prevnextMike's Hard Lemonade
As Darlene and Roseanne make fun of Becky (Lecy Goranson) for cleaning the house before Andrea (Sarah Chalke) visits in the second episode, Becky makes a hilarious comment about her age.
"I look 33," Becky says to Darlene.
"Yeah, and the only reason you look younger than me is because you're embalmed in Mike's Hard Lemonade," Darlene replies.
prevnextLunchables
Darlene is pleased to find Roseanne in the kitchen making her grandkids' lunch, but the reason is not out of pure grandmother love.
"It's out of guilt," Roseanne says. "Your father and I had a Lunchables party in the middle of the night ... you get up to use the bathroom, you end up having another dinner."
prevnext"Fashion designers"
When Roseanne drops off Mark at school, a girl calls him a freak for wearing girls' clothers, so the grandma has a chat with the class, which involves her naming who she thinks are big names in fashion.
"... I think he's going to grow up and be a fashion designer, a really famous one like TJ Maxx or that Ross guy."
prevnextMotherly Traditions
The Kardashians talked about it first.
Dan and Darlene were not OK when Jackie revealed what modern tradition Andrea would be partaking in after Becky gives birth to her baby.
"I'm keeping a lid on things out there but Roseanne just found out Andrea is going to eat Becky's placenta," she says.
prevnextAndrea's Fancy Gift
Roseanne and Dan have a hilarious reaction to Andrea's thoughtful and somewhat insulting "Thank You" gift.
"We'll try harder next time," Roseanne says as she opens the present. "Oh lookie here, its potpourri ... I hope you like it Becky cause that's what you're getting for Christmas."
"Guess she thinks our house stinks," Becky says.
Dan later turns around after opening the bag of potpourri.
"It looks better than it tastes," he says causing an uproar of laughter from the live audience.
"You gotta put milk on it," Roseanne says.
Roseanne airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
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