Saturday Night Live mocked infamous Fox News host Jeanine Pirro during its latest Weekend Update segment.
Anchor Colin Jost welcomed Pirro (Cecily Strong) to the desk to discuss Robert Mueller’s report after investigating the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. From the start, it was quickly discernible that Strong’s impersonation of Pirro was way over-the-top.
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“I’m judge Jeanine Pirro, and it’s up to you to decide just what my whole deal is,” Pirro said.
Strong’s Pirro then revealed that the Mueller report brought her back to TV after a hiatus, which was brought on for her recent controversial remarks.
“This Mueller report completely exonerated the president, and, therefore, everyone on the Trump train. Whew whew!” she said. “So someone at Fox News said my name into a bathroom mirror three times and here I am. I want to take this opportunity to say hi to my super fans out there: mean, horny men laying on in-home hospital beds and white prison gangs who control the remote on Saturdays. Thank you for watching!”
Jost chimed in to scold Pirro’s elevated colume, saying, “You don’t have to shout. I can hear you.”
“Can’t do it, pal!” Pirro replied. “Momma’s got one volume, and it’s three chardonnays deep at a crowded party!”
Pirro then went into a ton of boasts about President Trump that she claimed were inside the Mueller report.
“It’s crystal clear! No collusion, no obstruction,” she said. “The report concludes that the president is 35-years-old and 175 pounds. He’s got the rugged good looks of Bradley Cooper, and he smells like steak and complementary bathroom cologne. And he’s a USDA-certified sex machine who can wax that ass from dusk until dawn.”
Jost then challenged Pirro’s claims, pointing out that only a small amount of people have seen the actual report. The parody version of the Fox News anchor then channeled Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom to explain what should happen to the report.
“No one should read it, Colin. That’s why tonight I’m asking Attorney General William Barr to tell the world that President Trump is innocent. And then burn that report for all of eternity,” Pirro said. “Just ‘kali ma’ it into the Temple of Doom. And sorry, ‘Short Round,’ you ain’t stopping Dr. Jones this time!”
She added, “After this this Mueller report, we in Trump nation can do anything we want.”
Jost pointed out that Trump may now increase border security, leading to Pirro falling out of her chair with excitement.
“Oh, I just get so excited about Trump unleashed,” she said. “Oh, mama! He’s getting rid of Jussie Smollet, and he’s bringing back Roseanne! She’s going to have her own show called The Barrs. It’s Roseanne and William Barr on the dirtiest couch you’ve ever seen. And they’re calling them like they see them, and they’re taking all of the damn Ambien they want, period!”
Jost then mentioned the possibility of Trump investigating Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, leading to another excited fall and ending the segment.
Saturday Night Live airs weekly at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC.
Photo Credit: Will Heath/NBC
