A woman who was desperate to start a family with her husband was left devastated after discovering he secretly had a vasectomy.
The heartbreaking story was detailed on Reddit in March by an anonymous woman who explained the predicament she found herself in when she and her husband began attempting to start the next step in their relationship: growing their family.
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Eager to have little feet running around their house, or so she thought, the woman explained that they tried and tried, but each time her hopes were crushed when pregnancy test after pregnancy test came back negative, eventually leading to the revelation that her husband had a vasectomy.
Keep scrolling to see everything to know about the devastating case.
She thought she was unable to get pregnant
The heartbroken woman said that she initially believed that she couldn’t get pregnant due to her Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which she “assumed was the problem” and which led her to endure years of various fertility treatments.
PCOS, a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age, according to the Mayo Clinic, is defined by a number of symptoms, including irregular periods, excess androgen, and polycystic ovaries, or ovaries that may be” enlarged and contain follicles that surround the eggs.”
PCOS can lead to infertility or difficulty becoming pregnant and can also result in miscarriage or premature birth.
Fertility Treatments
According to the woman, she “underwent three years of painful, invasive and expensive fertility treatments, including “numerous hormone injections,” and her doctor had continued to suggest “semen analysis,” though husband always refused.
WebMD states that women with PCOS who are looking to get pregnant should “work with a doctor who is a specialist in reproductive medicine.” Fertility doctors will “help make sure you get the right dose of medicines, help with any problems you have, and schedule regular checkups and ultrasounds to see how you’re doing.”
She offered divorce
When fertility treatments continued to fail and the number of negative pregnancy tests continued to accumulate, the woman offered a heartbreaking offer: divorce.
Feeling as though she was failing her husband and feeling the stress of the continuous let downs, the woman gave her husband the choice between doing In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), a procedure in which an egg is combined with sperm outside the body, or divorce.
The truth
The woman’s ultimatum ultimately led to her husband confession the truth. Years before they married or even began considering starting a family, he had gotten a vasectomy.
“After three years of painful, invasive and expensive fertility treatment, I find out my husband had a vasectomy before we met,” she shared. “He let me endure 29 negative pregnancy tests and numerous hormone injections and he never thought to tell me.”
His excuse
After the woman confronted her husband, she learned that he had undergone the procedure when he was married to his ex-wife because he was scared she would become pregnant and he would be unable to leave.
“He told me he’d undergone the procedure because he was worried his ex wife would trap him with a baby,” she wrote. “He also explained that he didn’t tell me because he loved me and was worried I would leave.”
29 pregnancy tests
Before she found out the truth, the woman endured three years of various fertility treatments and experienced the pain of 29 negative pregnancy tests, she revealed in her post.
“After almost three years of painful, invasive and expensive fertility treatments, I find out my husband had a vasectomy before we met,” she wrote. “He let me endure 29 negative pregnancy tests and numerous hormone injections and he never thought to tell me.”
What to do next?
Following the revelation, the woman concluded that she had only three options: her husband get the vasectomy reversed, her husband agree to allowing her to use a sperm donor, or they get a divorce.
“I love him. But I’m broken,” the anonymous woman admitted. “And given his lies, I think we are better off not married (I could still get donor sperm and honestly, might be for the best.”
Reddit’s advice
Reddit users certainly had a lot to say on the matter, and were quick to offer their advice to the woman.
“I hope she leaves him,” one Reddit user wrote. “his is unbelievable. A lot of people I know with PCOS are already very stressed about their chances of being able to conceive and this a–hole made it worse for his wife.”
“This guy is straight up TRASH,” another added. “Certified absolute garbage. How do you let someone you supposedly love go through all that?”
“Leaving sounds like a good option,” another encouraged. “Those shots come with a price to your body. They can be dangerous they have side effects.”
“After all those years of lies, painful treatments… not to mention the permanent damage screwing with hormones can have on a person. Especially someone with PCOS who hoped to conceive. It’s not about the baby at this point, it’s about the deception and the complete lack of empathy for her physical and emotional pain,” wrote another.
“If it were me I’d try to take him to court for causing me emotional pain and trauma and file for divorce,” one user added. “Hopefully that would help pay back some of the fertility treatment cost and help her have some funds to start the family she wants. It’s sad either way because she has to start over by herself or take the single mother route. Or even worse allow this sociopath to father her children. It’s literally sad no matter what she chooses to do about it.”
The woman isn’t alone
Unfortunately, the anonymous woman isn’t alone in her story of hidden vasectomies and trouble getting pregnant. In an anonymous live chat with a reader and shared on Slate, a woman revealed her own story of her difficulty getting pregnant, which ultimately led to the discovery that her husband had had a vasectomy.
According to the woman, she and her husband had been attempting to get pregnant for two years, and she had assumed that their difficulty was due to an STD she had dealt with as a teenager that “could have affected my ability to have children.” Her husband alleged that “his sperm count was fine,” leading the woman to always blaming herself “for our inability to conceive.”
“Last week I broke down to my wonderful mother-in-law about how difficult this experience has been. She frowned at me then said, ‘Harry reversed his vasectomy, then?’” she revealed, stating that her husband hadn’t previously mentioned having had a vasectomy.
