Guys love to finish first, except in the bedroom.
When it comes to sex, a study by Adam and Eve found that the average intercourse (no foreplay) session lasted 7.3 minutes.
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If you’re hitting that average, why should it last longer? Because it’s fun, duh.
But on a more serious note, learning to hold off ejaculation can help alleviate insecurity about coming too fast or not satisfying a partner. A woman needs about 20 minutes of sexual play to orgasm, so if a man climaxes in two, what’s a girl left to do?
Even if a guy does know how to make himself last longer, it may actually be sabotaging his performance in the sack. “All men have their own extending technique, from thinking about football or baseball or counting backwards in their heads,” says A.L. Harper, sex expert, to Men’s Fitness. “However, these distraction techniques can end up making guys worse in bed because they aren’t paying attention to their partner’s pleasure.”
So it’s time to throw out any of those bizarre “extending techniques” and opt for one of these sensible options for longer, more fulfilling sex for both the man and his partner. Here’s to no more football fantasies during sex!
Masturbate first.
The first cut is the deepest, and the first erection is the most sensitive. If you jump straight into sex with that initial ‘Let’s go!’ feeling, the anticipation of an orgasm will push you to climax quickly. The best way to fix this is to masturbate before a romp in the sack.
Luckily, it doesn’t have to be right before the deed! Ejaculating an hour or two beforehand makes it harder for a man to come as quickly the second time.
“You can build up arousal again with slow and intimate foreplay with your partner, so the guy’s excitement is initially satisfied and he can better pace himself and sync up with his partner’s rhythm,” Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and family therapist, told Cosmopolitan.
Slow things down.
“Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time,” says human sexuality expert Catherine Toyooka to Men’s Fitness.
Slowing down the sexual pace leads to a more intimate experience for both partners. “It’s more sensual because you’re caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,” she says.
The sensuality and connection sparked by slowing things down will help a woman enjoy the sexual experience more, so this tip will actually rile her up as it helps him maintain control.
Squeeze his base.
This age-old trick comes straight from famous sex researchers Masters and Johnson, a team who pioneered the study into human sexuality.
Just before a man is about to ejaculate, his partner can place the tripod shape formed by the thumb, index and middle fingers around the tip of his penis or around the base and squeeze. Thanks to modern sex toy inventions, a cock ring can also work!
With these tools, he’ll orgasm, but will not be able to ejaculate. This trick is akin to bending a hose in half to stop the flow of water, though cracking his penis in half isn’t the best idea here. A firm grip will do!
Explore the edging technique.
We often encourage women to use the edging technique for a more intense, full-bodied orgasm or a blended climax. Still, the same technique can help men extend their sexual performance time.
When a man is close to orgasm, stop and wait a minute or two to allow his breathing to return to normal and much of the sensations to fade. (He can always manually or orally please his partner so you aren’t awkwardly waiting around.) Then, pick back up slowly to extend your time of fun together.
Sex researcher Dr. Ian Kerner tells Cosmopolitan that everyone has an “ejaculatory inevitability” or point at which orgasm will happen, so this technique trains the body to delay that cliffhanger from falling off the edge too early.
Bring in reinforcements.
Not only does a condom work to prevent pregnancy and STIs, it provides a barrier that slightly reduces the penis’ sensation during sex. If you’re using a popular brand like Durex or Trojan, swap it out for a thicker condom like Lifestyles Extra Strength to serve as a desensitizer for the act. But whatever you do, don’t double-bag.
You can also consider using a ‘delay spray’, like K-Y Duration, which only requires a few quick sprays before hopping in bed. This endurance enhancer is like Novocaine for a man’s penis, so it decreases the sensitivity that leads to quick climax.
