Why ‘Bachelorette’ Fans Are Concerned About Trista Sutter Right Now

Ryan Sutter‘s cryptic Instagram posts about former Bachelorette Trista Sutter have Bachelor Nation concerned for her wellbeing. In 2003, Ryan Sutter, 49, met his future wife, Trista Sutter, 51 (neé Rehn), on the first-ever season of the reality show The Bachelorette, where he competed for her affection. The couple was married that same year and celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary in December 2023. They have two children: Maxwell, 16, and Blakesley, 14.

However, it appears Ryan and Trista, widely regarded as the The Bachelor franchise’s most enduring couple, seem to be facing potential turmoil. Shortly after attending the nuptials of Golden Bachelor stars Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist (who have since parted ways), Ryan raised eyebrows by sharing a string of enigmatic posts centering around his wife, coinciding with the Mother’s Day period. These cryptic messages have ignited worry among the couple’s dedicated fan base,

Ryan suggested in his initial post on May 11 that he hadn’t contacted his wife, although her own family tribute posted a day later indicated nothing of the sort. “They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I can think of only a handful of days I have not, at minimum, spoken to this incredible woman,” he wrote at the time. “She is the love of my life and my best friend. I cannot imagine loving her any more or any more fondly. But I guess we’re gonna find out…. I miss her already.”

One of Ryan’s next posts revealed that Trista did not spend Mother’s Day with him and their children, Blakesley, 14, and Maxwell, 15. “Sometimes you have to go away so they know you’ll come back, that your love is not limited by distance or difficulty or time. Sometimes you have to do what you sometimes have to do,” he wrote, accompanying a black-and-white family photo on May 12. “We’re proud of you mama pajama for everything you do for us, near or far.”

Ryan shared a selfie of himself and Trista on May 18, captioned with a fairly dramatic message. “I really wish I could talk to you. Ask you how you’re doing? How was your day. I’d really like to hear your voice—just for a minute,” he writes, in part. “So many times I’ve called without much to say, not realizing how lucky I was or how much I’d miss the opportunity if it were gone.”

He continues, “I want to know how you’re doing. I want to support and encourage and cheer you on. I want to be there for you. But I can’t. And that’s ok cause I know you need this time – time to discover yourself again. So I’ll be here for you instead. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll be here to listen to you, to smile with you, maybe cry with you – I’ll be here to love you… I’ll be here… forever.”

Initially, many of Ryan’s followers assumed that the Dancing With the Stars alum would be joining another reality show that would make it hard to communicate with him, but his continued Instagram activity has led some to believe the worst. He tried to diffuse the situation on May 18, noting that Trista was “temporarily inaccessible” to her family due to an opportunity she had taken. “I write what is on my mind at the moment. I write my feelings without regard for how they will be interpreted and with absolutely no intent to deceive or mislead anyone—that is the farthest thing from my mind,” he explained. “I choose to share my thoughts on occasion because it helps me process them and, I hope, may help others navigate their own lives.”

He continued, “Trista is fine. We are fine. We’re great. Trista is at a place in life where she is searching a bit. An opportunity presented itself that may help her on that quest. With her family’s support, she has taken it. Part of that process means that she is temporarily inaccessible to us. I miss her. We miss her.”

Ryan noted in a Tuesday, May 21, post that he mostly shares photos of his dog, so the uploads were not typical of his social media activity. “I feel pretty normal because I am pretty normal,” he captioned a black and white picture of his cute pup. “But 21 years ago I was pretty famous. I don’t have millions of followers and am not influencing anyone but for some reason, every now and then, people still pay attention.”

As Ryan said, after he posted his messages to Trista “for a time when she could eventually read it,” some assumed that his posts meant that she had died, that their marriage was on the rocks, or that they were going through midlife crises. Along with his posts receiving high media attention, Ryan also received texts from friends asking how he was.

“All because I missed my wife and chose to share how that felt. It felt weird to wear the clothes of past fame once again, even if only briefly. It reminded me of how crazy life was and of how grateful I am for the life I have,” he said, adding that it “felt good to know people still cared, and worried and wondered.”

He concluded: “It felt good to be noticed and inspired me to do better at paying attention to others — when they do good or when they need help. In the end, like most things, everything turned out OK. Though I think I’ll go back to posting about my dog again for a bit.”

Ashley Iaconetti of Bachelor Nation has offered her own explanation for Trista’s absence as fans await news of her location. “She’s away for two weeks. Apparently, [former Bachelorette] Ali Fedotowsky is also away for two weeks, [she] had a very similar post,” Iaconetti told Ben Higgins on the May 15 episode of their podcast Almost Famous. “So, is she shooting a show? Is she on Special Forces? Because I told her she’d be perfect for Special Forces.” Several stars from the ABC dating show franchise, including Hannah Brown, Nick Viall, and Tyler Cameron, have competed on Fox’s Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test over the past two seasons.