Jax Taylor is remembering his father on the 1-year anniversary of his death.
The Vanderpump Rules star took to Instagram on Thursday to pay tribute to his father, Ronald Cauchi. In the emotional tribute, Taylor reflected on his loss one year after his death and how his absence is still every day.
Cauchi passed away in December of 2017 following a prolonged battled with esophageal cancer. He was 61 at the time of his death.
"One year ago today I lost the man I aspire to be, my best friend, still waking up every morning waiting for that text I always get from ya, 'hey bud, what's going on? What crazy shit are you getting into today?' Or 'hows your cars doing?', or the most important thing, 'you watch the @detroitredwings game last night?' You would think he had something invested in the team he LOVED his redwings so much," the post began. "still can't believe you're gone, sometimes I don't think it's real, I listen to your voicemails and videos all the time, always thinking, 'what if ?' Or 'why?'"
"I know you are with me because too many positive things have happened to me this year and I have seen so many signs of you," Taylor continued. "We still get to have our talks but now they take place at church on Wednesday's and when I take your ashes with me on my cruises with the guys. Btw, dad everyone loves your corvette and I promise I am taking great care of it."
Taylor went on to comment on his upcoming marriage to Brittany Cartwright, revealing that although it is an exciting time, it is also difficult given his father's absence, as he isn't sure how he is "gonna do it with out you physically standing by me, and helping me with my tie like the old days at hockey tournaments, god I miss those days."
"But I know you will be with me," he added, going on to reveal that his father's death made him question his faith.
"After you passed I have to admit I wanted nothing to do with God," he wrote. "I was angry, sad, disgusted on how he could take such a beautiful man, but I remembered how much you loved him and how you always told me how important God was to you, so I started going back to church and believing again, I have to believe he has a plan, and that I will see you again one day."0comments
"I love you dad so much, I hope you are proud of me and all the changes I have made with myself," he concluded his post. "It wasn't easy after you left us, but with the help of Jenny and Brittany, I have learned to deal with things in a more positive, healthy way. Today is a hard day, but we will get through it like we always do. I love you dad so much, you are and will always be my best friend. Till we meet again."
Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.