Lisa Vanderpump Admits She Was an ‘Emotional Mess’ After Brother’s Suicide on ‘Vanderpump Rules’

Lisa Vanderpump is admittedly struggling after the death of her brother, but has a friend in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-star Teddi Mellencamp.

The Bravo star has largely kept quiet after her brother, Mark Vanderpump, died by suicide in April 2018 at the age of 59, but in Sunday’s all-new episode of Vanderpump Rules, she broke down when Mellencamp visited her at SUR to catch up.

“I didn’t really know how to go about my daily life,” Lisa admitted of being shut off from the rest of her life after Mark’s death. “I was an emotional mess, so there was no way I could go out. I didn’t want to.”

And when Mellencamp asked if Lisa would be willing to interview her brother for a job, the restaurateur wasn’t able to hold back her tears.

“I miss my brother,” she said, tearing up. “The whole thing is just—”

Mellencamp was quick to comfort her friend, telling her, “I know what a good person you were to him and how much he loved you. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you are a good person, and you are a kind person. And he knows he was loved, and [his suicide] had nothing to do with you.”

Lisa explained that while she had taken a few weeks off to mourn her brother after his passing, she was beginning to suspect that it wasn’t enough.

“Maybe that’s not long enough to grieve really,” she told the cameras. “And then sometimes just unexpectedly, feelings come to the surface and I just have to deal with them.”

With tears building up, Lisa declared she would “just have to keep going,” before breaking down, telling the cameras, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Mellencamp’s appearance on Vanderpump Rules is notable considering Lisa’s alleged feuding with the other RHOBH cast members over her unwillingness to film group scenes.

In November, amid rumors she had quit the Bravo series, Lisa told PEOPLE, “I am in this season. Obviously there are some parts I missed and you’ll see why. I think maybe we’ll have a better understanding when you watch the show.”

“There’s a plethora of stories that say I’m quitting. If I had quit, I would have said it,” she continued. “It wouldn’t be leaked on an outlet. Can we just trust that I would come up … I’ve never had a problem with kind of coming forward, speaking my mind.”

Vanderpump Rules airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.

Photo credit: Twitter/Mark Vanderpump