‘Duck Dynasty’: Phil Robertson Offer Tips for Quarantine, Including Using Leaves Instead of Toilet Paper

Who needs toilet paper when you have leaves? Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson is already use to social distancing and has been since 1976, so he’s offering up some advice for the rest of who will listen while families around the world find new ways of living. After the coronavirus was labeled a pandemic, people rushed in flocks to various stores like Target, Walmart, Kroger and Ralphs to stock up on goods and one item that was quickly stripped from shelves everywhere is toilet paper. However, according to Robertson, people already have natural toilet paper that’s “free” and can likely be found in their backyard.

In a video uploaded to YouTube, the former reality star was seen driving a boat and talking about how people have reacted to the news. His wife, Kay Robertson, also known as “Mrs. Kay,” said via Robertson, “Mrs. Kay said, ‘It’s like, they’re acting like the world’s coming to an end.’ I said, ‘It is, eventually.’ We’re running out of toilet paper! What am I gonna do … they don’t have any toilet paper! You know what my answer is? I do,” he said as he held up a branch full of leaves. “It’s already kinda like on a role for me,” he added while picking leaves out one-by-one then saying, “How much do you need? Just a thought. And it’s free!”

He then went on to explain which leaves might work better if one were to use them in the future instead of toilet paper. Robertson detailed that “oak leaves” are much better for “your behind” because they’re “wider and they’re bigger.”

“Stick with the oak leaves, they’re wider and they’re bigger,” he suggests. “Oak leaves for your behind are a lot cheaper and it will work. That’s when you’re under quarantine and you run out … .” He didn’t fail to mention what people should look out for in order to avoid any “anal problems.”

“Sometimes poison ivy will come up an over cup tree. Stay away from any leaves on vines, don’t wipe your butt with that. You have to know the difference between the shape of the leaf between poison ivy, which will give you anal problems … and the big over cup acorn leaf,” he said as he laughed a little.

After mentioning that the over cup leaf would be a good one to use, he also called out sweet gum and maple leaves as ones to use as well saying anything “broad” and non-poisonous will get the job done.