‘Bachelor’ Alum Opens up About Losing Her Twins in Heartbreaking Miscarriage

Bachelor alum Vienna Girardi opened up about how she is coping after a recent miscarriage of twins at 18 weeks in a heartbreaking interview on The Doctors Thursday.

“For the most part, I try my hardest not to think about it, but everyday I get in the elevator and there’s a lady in my building who’s pregnant and I stare at her belly the entire elevator ride up,” Girardi said. “Every time I hold my goddaughter or hold my niece, I don’t want to let them go. Everyday there’s just constant reminders that I’m trying so hard to try to move past it, but it seems impossible to stop thinking about it.”

Girardi, who appeared in season 14 of the ABC reality show, said she fears now that she’ll never be able to be a mom.

“The scariest part is after you have a miscarriage you start thinking ‘Am I ever going to be able to have kids again? Is this going to happen again?’” Girardi explained.

Up Next: ‘Bachelor’ Alum Vienna Girardi Suffers Miscarriage, Loses Twin Daughters at 18 Weeks

The 31-year-old remembers waking up post-op after becoming septic while trying to save her twins who had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, which is a disease of the placenta.

“When I woke up, I remember one of the first things talking to my mom and asking her was ‘Am I going to be able to get pregnant again?’” she recalled. “She looked at me and she said ‘Yes, the doctor said everything went smoothly and you will be able to get pregnant.’”

In August, when Girardi had the miscarriage, she posted a message about her ordeal to Facebook.

“My little angels went to Heaven on Aug 5th and I was rushed into the OR for emergency surgery and was in the ICU for 4 days,” she wrote at the time. “This was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life but I knew my little girls were in Heaven already and the pain I feel I would never want any mother to ever feel.”

“RIP My Sweet Angels,” she added. “Your mommy will never forget you and I loved you both with my entire heart.”