Kelly Clarkson is still feeling the pain of her divorce. The "Stronger" singer and American Idol alum have battled it out in court with her ex-husband Brandon Blackstock, all while hosting her daytime talk show on NBC and working as a coach on the reality singing competition The Voice. But amid her Christmas special recently, she gave fans an insight into the emotional rollercoaster she's been dealing with while singing "Merry Christmas (To The One I Used to Know)" live.
During the event, she spoke on it, telling fans through tears, "the holidays come with a whole range of emotions. I'm going to real with y'all, when I wrote this next song, I was crying my face off, which happens even at Christmas time," Yahoo News reports. "I'd just put my kids [daughter River Rose, 7, and son Remington Alexander, 5] to bed and I was just going through it, having a really hard time. And it's been a really tough year for a lot of us."
Clarkson told fans that she wrote "Merry Christmas (To The One I Used to Know)" due to the circumstances, explaining, there aren't many holiday songs for people feeling lost and just plain sad." During the performance, she turned away from the microphone, visibly with many believing she broke down at one point.
The former couple married in 2013 after two years together. They had two children together. Us Weekly reported in June 2020 that she filed for divorce after nearly seven years of marriage. She cited "irreconcilable differences" at the time. Since then, the two have battled over custody, property, spousal support, and more.
"They clashed on so many levels, and being in quarantine together heightened their problems to the point of no return. So she filed for divorce," she said at the time, per Us. "Everyone thought Kelly and Brandon had the perfect marriage, but they definitely didn't. Brandon's very laid-back, whereas Kelly's pretty high-strung."