Jana Kramer and her husband, Mike Caussin, have been very open about the struggles in their marriage, stemming from his sex addiction, sharing a lot of it on her Whine Down with Jana Kramer podcast. The couple, who separated in 2016 over his infidelity, later reconciled, and have since become transparent about the journey they are on to rebuilt trust in their marriage.
Now, the former One Tree Hill actress is opening up about how she found out about his infidelity, as well as giving new insight into the steps they continue to take to make sure their marriage survives.
"He was shorter with me on things so I looked at some phone bills," Kramer revealed on ABC's Nightline. "I saw a lot of numbers that just didn't add up, and after some research, I found out more things."
Unfortunately, Kramer found out right before she took the stage to perform.
"He told me things that had just completely rocked my world," Kramer recounted. "I was sick to my stomach. I was just like, 'This can't be happening. There's no possible way that this is happening,' ... because I was like, 'He's my husband and we love each other. And we have a daughter and we have a happy life.'"
The former professional football player retired from the sport, but didn't know who he was aside from an athlete, which in hindsight he admits might have led to his downward spiral.
"I can make any kind of excuse between me transitioning from the NFL to 'the normal world,' feeling like I lost my identity because I wasn't a football player anymore," Caussin conceded. "I ran to women, I ran to sex, and that kind of flourished [into] what I later found out was an addiction."
Caussin ultimately went to a residential treatment facility outside of Nashville to get help, and continues to attend a 12-step program to aid in his recovery.
"Our worlds were just blowing up," Caussin recalled. "I was just trying to stay afloat and take a breath and survive this … and I was going to do whatever it took."
Caussin just celebrated one year of sobriety, but knows the struggle to relapse will be something he will always fight.
"A big mantra in any 12-step program is 'progress not perfection,'" Caussin said. "I'm trying to learn a new way of living that I've never known existed that I didn't know how to do. I'm trying to ride a bike all over again without training wheels, just trying to figure it out."
Caussin is proud of how far he has come, but knows he still has a long way to rebuild Kramer's trust.
"It's hard, honestly to accept," he continued. "Only because there still is so much pain and shame behind my actions that ... I don't want a kudos. I don't want a pat on the back for behaving the way I should behave. So it's still emotional – I have a hard time."
Kramer and Caussin, who share daughter Jolie and son Jace, are taking the Whine Down with Jana Kramer podcast on the road, where the couple will take the stage together to open up about their struggles.
"We want to connect with everyone that we're connecting to on Instagram – and we want to be able to just kind of share how we've made it work," Kramer explained.
Kramer and Caussin both hope to help other couples going through what they went through, whether it be on their tour or just in their daily interactions.
"I would just say have grace for yourself, have grace for the addict, and also give it time," Kramer said. "If the other person's showing up, give it a chance."
"I'm glad I showed up to fight for our marriage," she continued. "Because I love our family and I love what we have together."0comments
Find dates for the Whine Down with Jana Kramer Tour by visiting her website.
Photo Credit: Getty images/Jason Davis