Meghan McCain is still mourning 139 days after her father John McCain passed.
On Saturday, The View co-host took to Instagram to reflect on the weeks since her father's death, sharing a photo of herself with her father and an emotional caption recounting her continued struggle with grief.
"139 days - I still miss you every hour," she wrote. "Time feels slow, like being underwater – I try and fill the days distracting myself from how painful it all still is. I cannot believe how intense it all still feels – isn't it supposed to start easing up by now? It hasn't. Grief keeps a tight and relentless stranglehold."
"I replay my last few days with you over and over again in my head wishing I had said or done something more or different," she continued. "I wish I could somehow have stopped death from coming. It doesn't get easier, I just continue to try to adapt to the amputation and keep moving, breathing, living, fighting…."
"I wish you had seen me get older, I wish you could have met my future children, I wish you could still watch me on The View every day and laugh about how crazy the world is," she wrote. "I wish I could still hike in the creek with you, I wish we could still drink coffee on the deck, I miss the Arizona I love that exists with you in it."
"I f–ing miss everything about you Dad. You're still the sun in the center of my universe and always will be," she concluded. "You're still the sun in the center of my universe and always will be"
She ended by reminding followers going through a loss of their own that "you're not alone" and encouraged them not to be "ashamed of the pain or the process."0comments
Since her father's death, McCain has been open about the healing process, frequently opening up about her grief on social media in order to support others going through something similar.
Earlier this month, she thanked her husband, Ben Domenech, for his support throughout the past several months. She also revealed during a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen that former vice president Joe Biden, who lost his son to the same brain cancer that Sen. McCain suffered from, has been at her side throughout the grieving process.