Shia LaBeouf Reveals He Contemplated Suicide at Career Low Point

Shia LaBeouf gave an interview with a Catholic Bishop this week, revealing that he contemplated suicide just a few years ago during a low point in his career and his personal life. The actor is facing a lawsuit for alleged sexual assault among many other public controversies, and he said that those issues nearly ended his life a few years ago. He also gave some insight on how and why his career has seemed to slow down in recent years.

LaBeouf seemed to be referring to a time in the summer of 2021 when he described his darkest moment in Thursday's episode of Word on Fire with Bishop Robert Barron. He said that he realized he had "hurt a lot of people" and he felt a "deep shame" that drove him to the brink. He said: "I had a gun on the table. I was outta here. I didn't want to be alive anymore when all this happened. Shame like I had never experienced before-the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don't know where to go."

LaBeouf had just accepted the role of Padre Pio in Abel Ferrara's biopic at the time, and he had also just turned to religion for his own personal interest as well. He said: "I was walking out of hell. It wasn't like I willingly came in here on a white horse, singing showtunes. I didn't want to be an actor anymore, and my life was a mess."

LaBeouf stayed at a monastery and researched Catholicism for his role, but said that at some point while he was there "it stops being a prep for a movie and starts being something beyond all that. I know now my God was using my ego to draw me to Him."

LaBeouf said that he felt a "deep desire to hold on" while reading the gospel, and he followed that feeling. Before that, he said that he was "never an atheist" but described himself as an agnostic who "liked to argue." He said that his faith even became the avenue for him to reconnect with his estranged mother.

LaBeouf's ex-girlfriend singer FKA Twigs accused him of "relentless abuse" in 2020, including knowingly giving her a sexually transmitted disease. She filed a lawsuit with these allegations and the two are due in court in April of 2023. LaBeouf has denied these allegations before, and he did so again in his interview with Barron on Thursday, calling them "depraved."

Still, LaBeouf said that he believes Twigs did him a favor in the long run when she publicized her accusations. He said: "I wanted to go on Twitter and write all these things... I wanted to justify all this and explain. Now I see that... The woman saved my life. She was, for me, a saint in my life. She saved my life."