After erupting into an anti-Semitic rant on his podcast last month, Nick Cannon has faced scrutiny from all sides. Although the episode of Cannon's Class came out on June 30, things came to a head this past week, with ViacomCBS severing ties with the Wild 'N Out host and numerous peers condemning him. Cannon ultimately apologized, which led to even more backlash from those who supported him, claiming he was being "canceled." All this controversy weighed heavily on Cannon, as he revealed Sunday he considered suicide over the matter.
The 39-year-old comedian spoke out early Sunday morning, paying tribute to friend Ryan Bowers, who had just died by suicide. It apparently served as a wakeup call to Cannon, who was at the brink, himself. Ahead of hearing the news of his associate's passing, Cannon says he was dealing with a "dark contemplation" about continuing his "physical existence on this planet." However, Bowers' passing put things into perspective.
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"Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse... 2020 is definitely the most f—ed up year I've ever witnessed! After waking up [and] barely rising from my own dark contemplation of continuing my physical existence on this planet, this powerful warrior actually had the balls to do it," Cannon captioned a photo alongside Bowers. "I've said it once and I will say it again, this was the strongest dude I've ever met! Just over a year ago a San Diego Police Officer rushed in his home and unjustifiably shot him placing him in a coma for months. I stood by his bedside and promised him that if he made it out [and] fought the good fight that I would make his dream come true and put his album out and share his story with the world. He fought and fought, he woke up, they stitched him up, he learned to walk and talk again and within months we were back in the studio recording."
Cannon continued to recall Bowers' struggles, revealing just hard it was for Bowers to survive at times. He also recalled his last meeting with the rapper, who Cannon's record label had signed.
"Once again my brother you have put this world in perspective for me," the former America's Got Talent host wrote. "You would do that quite often because I never understood how someone who was experiencing sooo much pain could still laugh and smile through it all. This photo was the last time we seen each other in person. It was your first show back! Soldout crowd in our hometown San Diego and you rocked it!! You were so happy!! Proved to so many that you could do it and that you were Super Human! The greatest comeback I ever saw!! We almost made it little bro! But I guess even flying Super Heros have to land eventually."
Cannon ended the tribute on an even sadder note, pondering if he could have done anything to stop Bowers' death. The TV personality, who also hosts The Masked Singer, said he's been so "engulfed" in his recent dealings that he was not there for Bowers as of late.
"But I am certain that your energy will never die and your Spirit is eternal, so I ask you still to forgive me for letting you down Warrior," Cannon wrote. "I can't help but think if I wasn't so engulfed in my own bulls— I could've been there for you when you finally took your life after several attempts... F— this place!!"
This confession from the former Nickelodeon child star comes just after fans had been fearing the worst for him. Early Friday morning, Cannon vented about his "own community" turning on him for his apology and ended with the phrase "Enjoy Earth." A few minutes later, he penned another tweet that read, "Y'all can have this planet. I'm out!" Fans quickly reached out with concerns, but it ultimately seems that it was the loss of Bowers that provided the perspective-change Cannon needed.
If you or someone you know are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.