Spice Girls member and America's Got Talent judge Mel B is once again sharing the traumatic details from her life. The pop star has not made her abusive relationship with ex-husband Stephen Belafonte a secret, but the trauma it left her with still resonates today according to The Sun.
According to the outlet, Mel B also known as Melanie Brown, was marking one year since she visited a domestic violence refuge and revealed that she recently woke screaming after a nightmare where her former spouse chopped off her finger.
"I came running down the stairs because I thought my ex had cut my finger off," Brown revealed to The Sun. "I thought it had actually happened because he was threatening to do that. I was convinced my finger was gone and my mum had to reassure me it was still there. I have to remind myself that I'm living in the present and that the flashback is my brain playing tricks on me."
The 44-year-old singer was calmed by her mother after the incident, learning it was triggered by "crippling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" that can lead to flashbacks in victims.
The Sun adds that Brown had three suicide attempts during her marriage and ended up diagnosed with the condition. While Brown has been open about her torment, writing about it in her memoir Brutally Honest, Belafonte has denied the allegations.
"I've got a long way to go. It's baby steps. Everyone thinks it's fine when you leave but that's when the next battle really begins," the Spice Girl said in the interview. "No wonder women feel like they are going crazy and are tempted to go back (to an abuser), because life alone can seem so impossible. You may have had the strength to leave, but do you have the strength to stay away?"
Brown alleges that Belafonte was abusive starting on their wedding night in 2007, leading to a decade of horrifying treatment. This includes emotional abuse at home, with Belafonte calling her "worthless, drunk and pathetic" among other attacks.
She also alleges that Belafonte "hit, strangled and abused" in moments that were recorded by the ex, though he claims it was all consensual.
The pair's divorce was divisive and was only settled after the singer dropped the abuse charges in August 2018. For her part, Brown is attempting to heal and share her journey with other abuse victims.
"Even though you have left your abuser, there is a whole new way of trying to find yourself and trying to deal with your emotions and PTSD or whatever mental illness you have. That pain and anxiety is always there," Mel B added according to The Sun. "I still wake up with night sweats. I know he's not there but I still have flashbacks and that's ongoing."