Holly Madison Reveals Autism Diagnosis

Holly Madison has gained a new understanding of herself after being diagnosed with autism earlier this year. The Girls Next Door alum, 43, revealed her diagnosis in a recent episode of the Talking to Death podcast, revealing that she had been “suspicious” that she was on the autism spectrum after noting the struggles she’s faced in social situations throughout her life.

“I had been suspicious of it for a while. I always kind of had trouble socially, not recognizing social cues, not picking up on things the same way other people did. But I just made excuses for it,” Madison shared during the podcast. “I thought it was because I grew up in Alaska. And then around middle school, we moved to Oregon and I thought, ‘Well, that was just a big social change.’ So I’m just very introverted. That’s always how I wrote it off.”

Being diagnosed as autistic has been a relief for Madison, who noted how difficult social situations have been for her throughout life, as she struggles to make eye contact with people and is often found lost in her thoughts, both of which she’s found has been misunderstood in the past.

“I like being able to explain that,” the former Playboy model said. “I’ve only recently learned to make eye contact. I’m often in my own thoughts, things like that. So people take that as it’s some sort of like, ‘Oh, damn, you’re not super interested in me. F— you.’ I’m just not on the same social wavelength. But don’t take it personally.”

Madison, who dated Hugh Hefner from 2001 to 2008, said she’s experienced a sense of peace now that she can apologize for any perceived social faux pas, encouraging people to try to understand one another before casting judgment.

“Everybody operates differently. Interacting with anybody, just have a little bit of patience because you don’t know what they’re dealing with or what their level of social function is,” she explained. “I think even me, just the way I react with people, I have a little bit more patience now and I don’t take things as personally.”

Even as she expressed her own experience with autism, Madison made sure to impress upon the audience that she doesn’t speak for all autistic people, as everyone has a different reality. “I’m not a spokesperson for everybody,” she insisted. “They call it a spectrum for a reason.”