‘Beverly Hills, 90210’ Star Had Her Stomach Pumped After Drinking, Taking Pills

Jennie Garth is opening up about her mental health struggles almost four decades after she stepped into the spotlight.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 alum, 54, reveals in a new interview with PEOPLE published on Wednesday that she had to grapple with substance abuse and self-worth issues after the anxiety of becoming a household name as a teenager led to her living a “very isolated existence.”

“I really did a good job, to the point where I walked around not making eye contact with people, not wanting anybody to know anything about my life,” she said while promoting her new memoir, I Choose Me: Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose, and Embracing Reinvention, out April 14. “That led me into a very isolated existence.”

Garth said that after rising to fame as Kelly Taylor, she became her “own worst critic,” writing in the book that she felt pressured to restrict calories and get breast implants to live up to the beauty standard she felt imposed upon her. “I was so hard on myself,” she said.

“I spent a good amount of years being hurt, sad, just tormented by it, and it eked out into all aspects of my life,” Garth continued, noting that she was even harder on herself following her divorce from fellow actor Peter Facinelli after 11 years of marriage.

Garth and Facinelli tied the knot in 2001 and went on to welcome daughters Luca, Lola, and Fiona together before Facinelli filed for divorce in 2012. Their split was finalized the following year.

The actress recalled being at her lowest, drinking and taking pills one night until she needed her stomach pumped. The What I Like About You actress spent time at Canyon Ranch rehab center after the incident, where she learned to stop self-medicating, but she still was feeling her “light really dimming” due to “grief and anger.”

“I noticed my light really dimming. I wasn’t putting off good vibes. I could see it in the mirror. I could look at the negative impact that that kind of grief and anger was having on me,” she said. “And there was a weird switch where one day I just said, ‘I don’t want to carry this anymore. It’s impacting my relationships and how I feel about myself. I’ve got to let it go. I’ve got to forgive him.’”

Now, Garth and Facinelli are friendly co-parents, and the former teen star is living a sober life with husband Dave Abrams in Southern California. While the pair separated for nearly a year in 2018, they ultimately reconciled and celebrated 10 years of marriage last year.

Garth said that following failed IVF attempts and subsequent miscarriages, she and Abrams went through a rough patch that ultimately she traced back to people-pleasing tendencies.

“I really wanted to give Dave a baby because he was young and all of his friends were having kids and I just thought that’s what he needed … when all the while I was thinking, ‘I don’t really want another baby,’” said Garth, who acknowledged that Abrams said he was happy with just her and her daughters.

“It all comes down to we’re trying to people-please,” she continued. “We’re trying to do what other people want or what other people expect or what we should do. But once you get past all of that, and you really get to the core of what you want for your life? That’s when everything seems to get easier. …Even though it took a while, I’m finally at a place [where I’m] comfortable choosing myself.”