Susan Sarandon's Daughter Eva Amurri Reveals Her Night Nurse Dropped Son and Cracked His Skull

01/01/2017 09:28 pm EST

This would be terrifying for any parent!

Eva Amurri Martino opens up on her website HappilyEvaAfter.com about the difficult times she faced towards the end of the year, PEOPLE reports. She believes she may be suffering from depression after her night nurse dropped her son Major James, 3 months, on his head.

"A couple of days after Thanksgiving, our Night Nurse fell asleep while holding Major and dropped him, and he cracked his head on the hardwood floor," Amurri Martino, 31, said.

"Kyle and I were sleeping at the time and were awoken by the sound of his head hitting the floor, and then hysterical piercing screams. He suffered a fractured skull and bleeding on his brain, and was transported by ambulance to Yale Medical Center where I spent two harrowing days with him to receive emergency care and further testing. To say these were the most traumatic and anxious two days of my life is an understatement," she said.

Susan Sarandon's daughter shares Major and daughter Marlowe Mae, 2, with husband Kyle Martino.

She said she is lucky that her son "completely fine." However, Eva still feels completely guilty. She feared people would judge her for not being the one to take care of her son during the night.

"Let me tell you — the guilt I bore in the days and weeks after this accident was more intense and more damaging than anything I would wish upon my worst enemy," she said. "I wept in the hospital, telling anyone who would listen that it should have been me. That I was to blame."

The event has affected her entire life and she no longer trusts anyone but herself to take care of her children. She believes that she is dealing with "some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, possibly linked to some form of Postpartum Depression." She also shared that she is seeking help to deal with the trauma.

As for what's to come in the New Year, she wrote, "With open arms, I welcome 2017 as the year I learn to forgive a little deeper, to let go a little more easily, to accept some things I cannot change, and to love myself a lot more unconditionally."

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