Tana Mongeau recently took to YouTube to open up about many aspects of her life, and at one point said that her husband Jake Paul "could kill my whole family," then adding that she "will always love him." The 21-year-old married Paul over the summer, and while it appears that they are still together, she shared that she simply had some things that she needed to get off her chest.
"This year is coming to a close and I'm just not happy. I'm so unhappy with the way my relationship with Jake looks in the public eye and I've done so much pretending that I don't care what I do. So it's my fault," she said.
"I loved Jake so much, I still do... but I did so much of being the cool girl and not caring because I wanted to do life with this person and I wanted to see them happy and thrive and I wanted to show them that there are people that will accept you for who you are," Mongeau added. "I think I put so much of myself into Jake that I lost myself, and that's not his fault. And I'm not blaming him for that at all. It's just the reality. I don't regret it."
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She later referred to Jake's influence on her being like "a drug," adding, "I loved the time I spent with Jake so much and who I felt like he was making me.... I loved who I was when I was with him so much that I kind of put on rose-colored glasses. I realized I would do anything to feel this feeling forever."
Regarding their wedding, Mongeau stated, "Everyone thought it was for clout and fame and I think that made it so much worse for me mentally. If anything I would be so much smarter than it was... If the wedding was fake to me in my head, I would be in so much less pain."
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Near the conclusion of her 40 minute video, the YouTube star said, "I always want to be close with Jake, no matter what. I shared one of the craziest times of my life with this person and we were a team and he made me feel some of the best feelings I've ever felt just as a person, but also some of the worst. I feel I should have been far more transparent with him and myself and the world, but I just couldn't. Jake could f—ing kill my whole family, I will always love him. I will always have a bond with him that I don't ever see myself having with anyone else."
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