Pete Davidson wore his heart on his sleeve Monday afternoon, defiantly telling online bullies in an emotional Instagram post that he won’t kill himself.
In a screenshot of text shared to Instagram, the 25-year-old Saturday Night Live actor began, “I’ve kept my mouth shut. Never mentioned any names, never said a word about anyone or anything. I’m trying to understand how when something happens to a guy the whole entire world just trashes him without any facts or frame of reference. Especially in today’s climate where everyone loves to be offended and upset it truly is mind boggling.”
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“I’ve been getting online bullied and in public by people for 9 months. I’ve spoken about BPD [doredline personality disorder] and being suicidal publicly only in the hopes that it will help bring awareness and help kids like myself who don’t want to be on this earth,” he wrote.
“I just want you guys to know. No matter how hard the internet or anyone tries to make me kill myself. I won’t. I’m upset I even have to say this. To all those holding me down and seeing this for what it is – I see you and I love you,” he concluded, before signing the note, “Pete.”
Many of Davidson’s 2.4 million followers responded with sympathetic comments.
“Hang in there Pete!” one wrote.
“People can be so cruel. Stay strong and know so many ppl love you @petedavidson,” another said.
“sending you love and wishing you the best always,” someone else said.
Others told Davidson that they, too, suffer from borderline personality disorder, and that he inspires them. “I too have BPD and seeing someone so publicly talk about mental health in particular BPD inspires me. Keeping fighting, keeping living and keep being you,” one of his followers wrote.
“You are a mental health warrior. Keep rising above, my brother,” someone else said.
The post attracted plenty of encouraging comments from Davidson’s famous friends, as well.
His Saturday Night Live co-star Aidy Bryant left a string of pink heart emojis in the comments.
Model and actress Emily Ratajkowski wrote, “Sending you love Pete,” with a red heart emoji.
Queer Eye star Tan France wrote, “LOVE YOU, MATE. TRULY. STAY STRONG.”
Davidson has spent the last several months in the public eye, first during his whirlwind romance with singer Ariana Grande, and then again after they ended their engagement following the sudden death of Grande’s ex-boyfriend, rapper Mac Miller.
Davidson has been open about his struggles with mental health over the years. In an interview with Variety, he admitted that he once tried to drown himself in a pool as a child. Explaining that he had “been in and out of mental health facilities since I was 9,” he said he was in the “fourth or fifth grade” when it happened.
“I was trying to get my head stuck in the ladder in the deep end, so I would not be able to get up,” he confessed. “But I’m too much of a p—, and my head is too small.”
He said he “learned what death was” when his father, a New York City firefighter, was killed during the 9/11 attacks.
“I learned what death was. And you’re not really supposed to learn about that until high school, when one of your friends falls asleep in the garage, or whatever,” Davidson said, half-jokingly. “To learn how anything can just be taken away from you early gave me this sense of ‘F— it. Whatever, dude.’ I’m able to do stand-up and f— around because hopefully the worst thing that has ever happened to me happened.”
His mother, Amy Davidson, called him “one of the strongest and bravest people I know.” She said he would struggle to get out of bed due to his struggle with Crohn’s disease.
“Some days he was in so much pain, he couldn’t get out of bed,” she told Variety. “I used to bribe him and say, ‘If you get up and try to make the day you can go to the city later and do stand-up.’ We had a deal! That’s how he made it through high school. He is one of the strongest and bravest people I know.”
In that same interview, Davidson, who at the time was still engaged to Grande, called the internet “evil.”
“The Internet is evil, and I don’t like how it affects me,” he said. “I don’t like how the Internet is a place where anybody can s— on you and make anything up. I’ve worked really hard to get my brain to this place. I can’t go online like everybody else because it’s just a f—fest. And now I get to enjoy my life.”
Grande and Davidson have both wished each other well since the breakup. Grande’s manger, Scooter Braun, recently defended Davidson after a Grande fan took to Davidson’s Instagram to disparage him over his split from Grande.
“[You’re] cancelled,” the fan wrote. “[Thank you so much] for breaking with Ariana [because] she’s doing much better BYE.”
At that point, Braun stepped in, telling the fan to “stop the bulls—.”
“It is nothing like that and Pete is a good dude,” Braun wrote. “No one has hate for this guy and he is a stand up guy. Show respect because trust me everyone on this side knows he deserves it and wishes him well.”
Soon after the breakup, Davidson spoke candidly about it on SNL. “I know some of you are curious about the breakup, but the truth is it’s nobody’s business, and sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay,” he said. “She’s a wonderful, strong person, and I genuinely wish her all the happiness in the world.”
Grande mentioned Davidson specifically by name in her song “thank u, next,” which is about learning from her past relationships. “Even almost got married / and for Pete I’m so thankful,” she sings.
Photo credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez / Staff / Getty
