On Saturday Night Live this weekend, “Weekend Update” hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost had their jokes ready just hours after the Senate confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.
Kavanaugh was confirmed 50-48 Saturday afternoon, with Kavanaugh receiving the least number of “yes” votes for a Supreme Court nominee in U.S. history. Jost made that statistic the butt of his first joke.
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“Keep in mind, it’s also the most ‘yeses’ Kavanaugh has ever heard,” Jost joked, referencing the sexual harassment allegations made against Kavanaugh.
“Even if you look past Dr. [Christine Blasey Ford‘s] testimony — which many people seem to have no trouble doing — Kavanaugh did a bunch of disqualifying stuff this past week,” Jost continued. “He basically lied under oath during a job interview to become a judge. That’s like cheating on your wife during your wedding.”
Jost also joked about Kavanaugh’s apology op-ed in the Wall Street Journal as what Alcoholics Anonymous “calls step nine.”
Jost also slammed the FBI’s one-week investigation into Ford’s allegations against Kavanaugh as not “super thorough.”
SNL then played a scene from Law & Order: SVU to show what an episode of the show about the investigation would have looked like. In the clip, Benson (Mariska Hargitay) told the suspect they found his fingerprints at the scene of the crime. The suspect said he had no idea what she was talking about. “Well, you’re free to go,” Benson said before the credit, “Executive Producer Dick Wolf” came on the screen.
Che then wondered if the five Republican women who voted for Kavanaugh were hostages. “This feels like one of those horror movies where the white lady is in love with the monster, but doesn’t know it and all the black people who are watching are like, ‘Aw man, you about to get ate,’” Che joked.
He also went on to say that Kavanaugh getting confirmed was not good for anyone, especially himself. “If a white lady in tears can’t get justice, then there’s no chance for my black a— in Jordans,” Che said.
Jost then said he was angry with Democrats who called Kavanaugh “evil” before the allegations came to light. “It’s like seeing OJ [Simpson] doing a Hertz commercial in the ’80s and saying this is the worst thing he’ll ever do.”
Che said it was “pure comedy” for President Donald Trump — “an old rich dude” — to say it was a “scary time” in America.
Lastly, Jost noted that Republicans are hoping to use the allegations against Kavanaugh to rile up their base. He then listed all the other things Republicans can already use to get their supporters angry, like LeBron James, Mexico, Starbucks cups, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the NFL, gay frogs and George Soros.
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