Sex Therapist Reveals The Best Advice She Never Got
Sex advice is one of those things we all desperately need at some point, but not all of it is [...]
Sex advice is one of those things we all desperately need at some point, but not all of it is designed to meet the needs of everyone. It turns out, even sex therapists don't always find the advice they need.
Jennifer Kaplan, the daughter of a sex therapist, revealed that growing up she was always assumed to be the most in-the-know when it came to sex, but in reality, she was just as confused as the rest of her friends, in a story shared by Alternet.
According to the author, people assumed that her mom "dispensed a lot of sex advice, and that growing up with sex as an everyday dinner table topic somehow unlocked a goddess-like sexual prowess." This was not the case.
Up Next: 8 Women Reveal Why They Like Giving Oral Sex
She says, "I wish I could say that I know the secret to having more orgasms, or better yet, superhuman orgasms. Or that I am a repository of sexual secrets that cannot be found elsewhere, not even on the internet."
Kaplan then reveals, "But truth be told, who needs sex talk at the dinner table when all the advice you need can be found online?"
One the most widely searched for pieces of advice when it comes to sex, is how to approach oral sex. It can be quite intimidating to some.
Going down on your lover seems easy enough, but how do you know if you're doing it right? If you don't have the same parts down there or if you don't get a thrill from the same sensations, it can be tough to know what really turns your other half on.
But the reality is you only get what you give, so it's time to step your game up in the name of pleasure for both you and your partner.
To become an expert in the art of oral, keep reading for 12 easy, creative tips then get to practicing!
Scroll Down To Read 14 Oral Sex Tips to Make Your Partner Squeal With Pleasure
Be a tease:
Ease into the act!
On a guy: Kiss or lightly suck his neck while scratching your fingers down his chest and stomach. He'll start using his imagination, then you can turn those dreams into a reality!
On a woman: Move from the make-out down, kissing her body as you slide to your destination.
Once you're in a good position for oral, kiss all around before heading straight in.
Talk it out:
As J Lo knows, the best sex happens when you talk it out.
Communicate with your partner what to do, what feels good, what doesn't feel good and what's coming next.
Make sure you're on the same page whether oral is the foreplay or the main event, and speak up if you're really feeling good! It'll turn you both on more than you can imagine.
If you want to get some sexual conversations going before the act begins, there's an app for that.
Try sucking:
When a guy is going down, it's a lot of random tongue-flicking in, out and all around, with no rhyme or reason.
Teach him to control the actions by instructing him to lightly suck on the clitoris.
It's a more intense sensation and he'll love the thorough lesson in Oral 101.
Forget deep throat:
Nothing ruins the mood like gagging. If he loves full-peen action, simulate deep throat action with a combination of your mouth and hands.
Hold a tight grip on the base of his shaft, then wrap your mouth just below the head of his penis.
When your lips meet your hand, move them together in a rhythmic motion to get the party started.
Want to know what he's really thinking about during the act? Click here to find out.
Make some noise:
Humming during oral stimulation can create another sensation during oral that hits all the right notes.
The vibrations feel oh-so-good to your partner and the audible additions to your routine will help push you both toward a world of bliss.
When you can tell your partner is close to an O, try moaning with them.
It'll heighten their pleasure and encourage their finish, and it can up your arousal at the same time.
Play with temperature:
Give each other a tingly surprise by taking a drink of ice water or holding a small piece of ice in your mouth before going down.
This chilly surprise will make your partner squirm (in the best way) and it's a simple way to introduce a little kink into your normal routine.
If you've been there, done that, you can also use hot water or tea to warm things up for another thrill.
Hit the f-spot:
Like the clitoris, the frenulum—the small v-shaped area where the head of his penis meets the shaft—is a sensitive spot full of nerves.
When your jaw needs a rest, spend some time flicking it with the tip of your tongue to give him a new, exciting sensation.
Just remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto your clitoris.
Get handsy:
Even though it's called a BJ, the best ones are a combo of a handie and a blowie.
This is really good news for the ladies, as you can give your jaw a break and stop wondering, "What is my face sticks like this?"
For an easy way to blow his mind, grab his lubed shaft with both hands and move them simultaneously, twisting opposite ways.
Incorporate your tongue by flicking the head or giving his sac special attention.
Don't ignore the little things:
The P and V might be the stars of the show, but paying attention to other sensitive areas of both your bodies can heighten the experience for a super orgasm—yes, that's a real thing.
For women, the nipples are a fairly obvious option, but they're often forgotten! When he needs to come up for air, have him pinch the nipples or run an ice cube along the areolas to give that tingly, must-have-more feeling.
For guys, the frenulum and perineum—the patch of skin between his sac and anus—are super sensitive areas that shan't be forgotten during foreplay. Apply medium pressure to the perineum with your thumb (coincidentally, it'll fit perfectly) when he's close to an orgasm to intensify the pleasure.
Rethink lube:
If you aren't using latex condoms afterward, try adding almond or coconut oil to your oral routine.
These slippery solutions taste better than flavored lubes and they make it easier to get wet and wild. (If you're having sex afterward with a latex condom, use a water-based lube.)
While you're at it, grab another must-have accessory during oral: a pillow! Slide one under her pelvis to prevent neck cramps from the awkward position, or try these other creative ways to use a pillow during sex.
Edge toward the finish:
If you aren't in a hurry, the 'edging technique' can intensify the experience.
Every time your partner is close to orgasm, either slow down or just hold still until they've come back to a solid place, then continue.
Added bonus: As he learns to hold out a little during oral, he'll be able to last longer during sex! Once you master that, it'll be time to explore tantric experiences.
Slow it down:
According to a Cosmopolitan poll, 54 percent of men like oral as a foreplay, so don't turn it into the main event if you're down for more!
Try slower, deeper penetrating movements rather than the rapid tugs and tongue motions you see in porn.
Tease each other for a bit and, when you're ready, take things to the next level with these positions guaranteed to make you orgasm.
Go out with a bang:
When it's time to see the fruits of your (very manual) labor, throw in these surprises to intensify your lover's pleasure.
On a guy: Tug on his scrotum right before he reaches orgasm. The skin is thin and sensitive, plus the spontaneous action is a wild turn-on.
On a woman: A little spank will do the trick. Though she may be a lady in the streets, most women want at least a taste of Fifty Shades action between the sheets. Again, this little spontaneous act may be all it takes to fulfill a fantasy.
Play nice together:
There's nothing that makes you work harder and more passionately than gifting while receiving.
69-ing is also a solid way to boost the connection you feel with your partner and play fair when it comes to sexual favors.
It's all about intimacy, after all, and it doesn't get more intimate than this.
More: 10 Steamy Tricks to Add to Your Repertoire for Expert-Level Sex
prev