Saturday Night Live brought back one of Kenan Thompson's more popular impressions this week in order to provide an update on the health of former Boston Red Sox slugger, David Ortiz. The retired baseball player was shot in the Dominican Republic over the summer and spent nearly 50 days in a Boston Hospital.
During a segment of Weekend Update, anchor Colin Jost welcomed Ortiz (Kenan Thompson) to the desk to discuss his recovery from a shooting in the Dominican Republic, as well as some of the other changes in his life. Although Thompson's impression turned the segment into more of an opportunity for product placements.
"It was bad," Thompson said about his summer. "But you know what they say, 'whatever doesn't kill you, makes you want to kill the person that tried to kill you.'"
As Thompson's Ortiz revealed during the segment, he has been making changes in his life to avoid a similar incident, including going out in disguise. This has been achieved through the use of his first product placement, Hairbnb.
"You need a wig for the weekend?" Thompson's Ortiz asked. "Use Hairbnb. Every wig is made of 100 percent Guinea Pig hair. Yeah, it's very itchy."
Of course, he didn't limit the product placement to the disguises sold by Hairbnb. He is back doing commercials on a regular basis and has a whole string of other products to sell. In fact, Thompson's Ortiz added in multiple other fake companies during the Weekend Update segment to explain his new diet and workout regimen.
"I'm trying to have a better diet," he said, "so I'm eating the Possible Burger."
As he explained, it's not the impossible burger, which is a plant-based food to be used in place of beef. In this instance, Thompson's Ortiz is eating something that may or may not be real meat, but it's entirely possible.
"Possible Burger. Did you buy a bunch of brown beef on the back of a pickup truck? It might not be real meat, but it's possible."
Finally, Thompson's Ortiz explained that his new exercise routine has been very effective. Some people use a Peloton, which is the popular exercise bike, but he has been using a Pelocon. Essentially, it's a pelican that attacks you randomly while wearing a Hairbnb disguise. After only a few short weeks, Thompson's Ortiz has lost 15 pounds and three fingers.
Saturday Night Live airs weekly at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC.
Photo Credit: Will Heath / NBC