Whitney Port revealed she had a miscarriage two weeks ago. The Hills: New Beginnings star spoke about the heartbreaking news Tuesday during an episode of her podcast With Whit, where she opened up about her and husband Tim Rosenman expecting a sibling for their son Sonny Sanford, 2.
“This is really hard for me to write,” Port wrote in the caption for a preview clip from the episode on Instagram. “Two weeks ago, I had a miscarriage. The amount of various emotions I felt in the past couple weeks have been extreme… from shock to sadness to relief, which then led to guilt for feeling that relief.”
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“My identity has been shaken in regards to who as a mom and human being,” she said, as PEOPLE first reported. “I’m currently in the process of learning to accept that my feelings are valid no matter what they are. Whether or not people feel the same way as me or not. They are my personal emotions that are the result from my own journey. The video above is a glimpse into the story and coming to terms with how I feel.”
“I welcome anyone to share their stories or feelings,” Port added. “I want my platform to be an open place where we can share difficult conversations.”
In another clip released on YouTube, Port said she stopped taking birth control and got pregnant, revealing she and her husband had told friends and family in the first trimester.
After feeling “really nauseous” and exhausted until week six, she said she believed the second pregnancy would be easier than the first, until she recalled telling her husband she didn’t feel good anymore.
“And then the next day, I woke up and I saw blood on my underpants,” Port said, adding she wasn’t “too alarmed” about it knowing that spotting can be normal normal and she had it when she was expecting Sonny.
The next day, the bleeding got worse and an ultrasound confirmed the worst, with the couple finding out the pregnancy was not viable and there was no heartbeat.
Rosenman also spoke on the tragic news on the podcast, revealing he has struggled with his emotions after the news.
“I shed some tears but we moved on… then I stopped myself and I’m like, ‘Well, if a baby died, you would be heartbroken for the rest of your life. So what’s the difference between this and a baby?’” he said. “And I started having all these existential thoughts in my head about when life begins and when it doesn’t.”
Port also admitted she was unsure if she wanted a second child in the beginning, and said she wouldn’t be surprised if she got backlash for her sadness at the big loss.
“Sometimes you don’t know what you want until something happens, and I think as humans, we’re allowed that,” the MTV star said, and her husband agreed, saying, “There’s never gonna be a right time.”
Check out Port’s emotional podcast episode above. The Hills: New Beginnings airs Mondays at 10 p.m. ET on MTV.