Kat Von D is looking back on almost 12 years of sobriety as she stands alongside longtime friend Bam Margera as he works to get his health under control in rehab. Following a public plea for help from Dr. Phil and trespassing arrest, the Jackass star is working to get sober in inpatient rehab, and had a special visit over the weekend from the tattoo artist and reality personality. Sharing a video of herself drawing alongside a healthier-looking Margera, Von D detailed her own journey with sobriety and thanked friends who were there for her through the uglier parts.
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“Getting sober was not easy for me,” she began. “Even though it’s gonna be 12 years in July that I celebrate being clean from drinking and drugs, I still clearly remember the physical pain from withdrawals, the profound desire to die, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness I felt that day I decided to quit.”
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Von D recalled that in this time of “big changes” she realized who her “real friends” were, adding in her experience she was left with “almost no one.”
“On day two of detoxing, I was failing to talk myself out of killing myself when a friend came over, and found the most pathetic/vulnerable version of me on my apartment floor,” she admitted. “He said, ‘Come on, Kat. Get up and let’s draw.’ I managed to scrape myself up somehow, find a piece of paper and whatever pencils were laying around.”
She continued, “Looking back, I realize he was just helping me put one foot in front of the other. Maybe it was just a distraction, or maybe it was his way of helping me refocus on the one thing that has always saved me from myself. Either way, it’s what I needed at that time, and I am so grateful to that friend.”
Von D remembered this moment in her life while visiting Margera, explaining she was only sharing both their stories because of their openness about addiction, adding, “And man, it was beautiful to spend time together and draw!”
“I’m so proud to see Bam sincerely trying to make such meaningful changes โ as hard as it is being away from family and home,” she wrote. “No one ever sees the struggle, or the ugly painful moments that take place behind the scenes unless you’re in it yourself. And this ‘Instagram’ version of ‘life’ that the public sees doesn’t hold a candle to reality.”
As everyone has their own struggles ot get through, Von D urged, “I wish we would all be so much more gentler to each other. Especially on social media. People are so quick to judge, criticize and even make fun of others, especially when people are going through sโ [I know this from personal experience being on the receiving end of hate]. And sometimes, all we really need is support in the form of kindness.”
She ended with encouragement for Margera, telling him, “I’m so fโing proud of you, and can’t wait to see all the amazing things you’re gonna do.”
Photo credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images