Former Bachelor Colton Underwood is speaking his truth about his sexuality, coming out as gay for the first time publicly on Wednesday's Good Morning America. The difficult past year has helped Underwood come to a place of recognition in his personal life, the former ABC lead said, where he was finally ready to go public with his sexuality.
"I've run from myself for a long time and I've hated myself for a long time," he shared during Wednesday's show about coming to terms with his sexuality. While he admittedly was "still nervous" about going public with his big news, he added he was "the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life."
JUST IN: Former “Bachelor” star @Colton Underwood speaks his truth and comes out to @robinroberts: “I’m gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it… I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life.” https://t.co/PoYJUAPBpA pic.twitter.com/isP7SptUu7— Good Morning America (@GMA) April 14, 2021
Underwood shared that he knew at age 6 that he felt different, and by high school, he recognized that he was gay. Growing up in the Catholic church and playing football, Underwood said he had negative connotations about being gay, however. Going on The Bachelor in 2019, the former pro football player said he remembered waking up in the morning thanking God for "making" him straight.
Underwood's season ended with him jumping the fence for contestant Cassie Randolph, and the two would end up dating until May 2020, when the two announced they had decided to split. Randolph would go on to get a restraining order against Underwood in September 2020, alleging he had been stalking her but dropped the order in November.
The former Bachelor addressed his behavior on Wednesday's Good Morning America, saying he had gotten "into a place in [his] personal life that was dark and bad" and apologizing to Randolph for making "a lot of bad choices." He continued in a direct address to his ex, "I'm sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish it wouldn't have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anyone else."
Underwood also revealed he had a failed suicide attempt around that time before deciding to reconcile with his sexuality, waking up one morning in Los Angeles after going to bed without "intentions of waking up." He continued, "I would have rather died than say I'm gay, but that was kind of my wakeup call." Looking back on his time as the Bachelor, Underwood said he wished he "hadn't dragged people into the mess of figuring out who [he] was."
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.