Duane "Dog" Chapman's youngest daughter, Bonnie Chapman, took to Instagram to reflect on the past year as she heads into 2020. In a slideshow of photos, she shared an image of a boat on a beach overlaid with the text "Goodbye 2019." The next slides were screencaps of lengthy notes she typed out reflecting on the year, going so far as to call it "the worst year of my life."
"2019 takes the cake for being the worst year of my life," Chapman, 21, wrote, adding that although the year "started off on a good note," it quickly took a turn for the worse when her best friend "had taken her own life."
Chapman also touched on her failed business, which she called a "[complete] waste of money," her dog who died after a major surgery, a few serious injuries, dropping out of college, evacuating her apartment after a fire, and even coming out of the closet.
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"I came out of the closet this year, which was honestly so liberating," Chapman wrote briefly on the subject.
The Dog's Most Wanted star said one highlight of the year was with her mother, helping a friend file a restraining order against a stalker. "We helped my friend find comfort in self defense and helped her with everything she needed for a restraining order. I felt like I was doing something amazing ... This was one of the last things my mother helped me with."
She went into detail about her mother, Beth Chapman's, death, writing that she "genuinely thought she was gonna be ok" until November. But in June, she saw her in her medically induced coma days before her death, which "shook me to my core."
"To see her so weak was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. We really weren't prepared. I had gone to therapy for 2 years preparing me for this very moment, yet I wasn't ready."
"My mother had woken up at one point, I apologized for being such a brat and she shook her head and assured me I wasn't. That's my last memory with her. A memory that comforts me sometimes, when I feel like I wasn't a good daughter. I checked up on my mother although we were states apart, I made sure to love her no matter what.
"To this day my heart aches for my mama, I miss her. Every cell in my body misses her. I know she's in a better place with no pain, and that's all I could want. Is to see my mom cancer free and happy. I'm thankful she's cancer free now, and pain free. I'm sad to never see her again, but I wear her ashes around my neck everyday (sic) since. She's still with me."
Chapman wrote that she "spiraled into a very dark place" after Beth died, "but after a couple weeks I remembered my mom wanted me to be happy. I tried to help my family cope in any way possible."
She said she "nosedived" into makeup, which she called her therapy, and "tried to do everything [Beth would] want me to and more."
"To 2019, thank you for putting me through hell, I've grown as a woman. I've learned to channel my sadness, anger and confusion into art. I've learned to live life in the moment. Thank you for those who have been with me through every day and every struggle. I hope I've made you proud as well. To 2020, hopefully you'll be better."