'Teen Mom' Mackenzie McKee Reveals She Can't Watch New Season: 'Trying to Crawl out of Last Year'

Mackenzie McKee won't be reliving the last year of her life by tuning in to the new season of Teen Mom OG, the MTV personality revealed in an emotional message on Instagram Tuesday. Ahead of the season premiere, McKee revealed that because of the difficult events of the past year, during which she lost mom Angie Douthit to cancer and temporarily split with husband Josh McKee, she would be keeping her distance from watching herself on TV.

"Last year was a year I never imagined would happen to me," she wrote alongside a selfie. "My heart was shattered into pieces, I learned more about life and myself In 6 months than in all 25 years of life. And i lost my very best friend in a time I needed her most. Some days I feel like I will die of a broken heart. Some days I want to hide in a dark hole and never come out because of complete public humiliation. I have deactivated my Twitter for mental health reasons and will not be watching this season."

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McKee explained of not watching her season back, "I am still trying to crawl out of last year and to have to relive it all over again is something I don’t think I can conquer."

She went on to address her split from husband Josh, who re-proposed to her in October following a separation that came amid confessions of infidelity on both sides.

"For [Josh's] sake and what I know will be shown, I am here to say that I have not been a perfect wife throughout the years and have made several unfaithful mistakes as now has he," McKee wrote. "I am choosing at this time to live alone, focus on my kids, my business, and growing closer to God. I have let the public control how i think of Josh and the choices i make and for the sake of us, i choose to stay away from reading social media."

Keeping her faith strong throughout the difficult times has been invaluable for the reality personality.

"I know God has my life in the palm of his hands and has a beautiful bright future ahead if i just stay faithful to him. I know my earthly rewards will one day not matter and from here I live to please God for I know my heavenly reward will be worth it," she wrote. "I ask all prayer warriors pray for me as this show publicly airs the hardest year of my life. That people learn from me and connect so it was worth it. And if there is a next season [fingers crossed] I promise you will see me come out on top."

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Teen Mom OG airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on MTV.

Photo credit: MTV