Courtney Stodden is opening up about a particularly difficult chapter in her life after finalizing her divorce Tuesday from husband Doug Hutchison, who married her when she was 16 and he was 50. In a new video on her YouTube channel, Stodden, now 25, revealed she attempted suicide last year while struggling with depression.
“It’s no secret that I have struggled with depression,” she says in the video, explaining of her thought process at the time, “I didn’t see a way out of all the pain and the grief and the insanity that I’ve struggled with in my life.”
Videos by PopCulture.com
“I just feel like it all got too much for me,” she continued. “I decided in a really drunken state that this was the best option.”
The Celebrity Big Brother alum added that “by the grace of God,” her attempt didn’t work, and she has since been working toward the “day of strength” in which she was able to tell her story.
“I still can’t believe that I did that,” she added of the attempt, continuing of her personal growth over the last few years, “I’ve lost a lot and I’ve gained a lot. I’ve been hospitalized for multiple panic attacks.”
Through all that, she’s learned, “Life is worth living. No matter what. No matter what other people have done to you.”
As her marriage to Hutchison came to an official end Tuesday, Stodden said of her marriage, “I believe Doug and I had so much love that was toxic given the situation. I was a child. You can’t get around that I was a child. I don’t think Doug ever saw me as a child.”
Following the finalization Tuesday, Stodden shared a bathroom selfie to her Instagram with the butterfly emoji-filled caption, “I’m officially divorced today. #divorceday”
Photo credit: Michael Tullberg/Getty Images