7 Things You Should Never Say to a New Mom

new mom motherhood baby wrap
(Photo: iStock )

After all the excitement of pregnancy and the whirlwind of birth, coming home as a new mother can seem frightening. You're left wondering why someone trusted you with this tiny human and how exactly you're going to figure it all out.

Having support around you as you navigate motherhood is so important for mental and physical health. Being able to lean on people who understand the tribulations that pop up, especially in the first few weeks of a newborn's life, is invaluable.

But, chances are, you're going to run into someone who says something flippant that hurts your feelings. Here are seven things that should never be said to a new mom because emotions, hormones, fatigue and a newborn are hard enough to deal with.

"Wow, you look tired!"

It shouldn't be a surprise that with new motherhood comes lack of sleep, so don't point it out. New moms are already feeling completely off between healing from birth and all the chaos that comes with a newborn. Bags under her eyes isn't something that should be on her radar.

"Your baby cries a lot."

Guess what--babies cry. And another thing, moms, especially new ones, tend to get a little stressed out over trying to figure out why their little one is so upset. Pointing out their baby "cries a lot" is likely to send the red alarms off and she'll worry something is wrong. Unless you're legitimately concerned that the baby seems to be in pain and you're offering to help, don't say it.

"It's going to get harder."

It's just not helpful to potentially freak someone out when they may already feel over their head. Also, that's not an entirely true statement. There are so many phases of parenting and some are more challenging than others and it's all a matter of personal opinion.

"When are you going to have another?"

Um…let her heal maybe?

"Your baby doesn't look anything like you."

It seems like a totally harmless phrase but think about what that would feel like when people say that to you over and over again. It's hard to explain, but for a mother, seeing parts of you in your child is special--amazing really. Even if the only similarity is the shape of their brows, just tell her how cute her baby is.

"Is s/he sleeping through the night yet?"


There is this rumor that some babies sleep through the night right away. But, there is also a big myth about what "through the night" actually means. It's totally normal for newborns to wake up every two hours. Plus, that question can feel like a ton of pressure for a new mom.

"How much weight did you gain with your pregnancy?"

Regarding anything about weight, bite your tongue--seriously! Don't ask how much weight she gained. Don't ask why her stomach is still big. Don't mention that you lost it all within three weeks. It's never an okay thing to say, but it's even worse after pregnancy.